Not a Hero
by Ice-Song
Summary: IZTT xover. Yeah, Teen Titans. The Titans are asked to capture Zim in order to save the earth. Zim is oblivious, and Gir is annoying. Zim remains evil but does he prove that perhaps he's not the product of his race after all?
1. Chapter 1

Zim raised his hands in triumph. "I the mighty ZIIIIIIIM have done it again!" he yelled for anyone within ten miles to hear. He turned to Dib and narrowed his fake blue eyes. "And you, filthy human, have been defeated." 

Dib coughed up some dirt and dusted off his overcoat. "Shut up Zim. All you did was beat me at dodgeball."

"Hey, Zim beat Dib," a random kid yelled.

"Let's all laugh at Dib for being such a crazy looser!" someone else yelled.

There was a chorus of "yeah!" in agreement and every kid in Dib's class and a few who weren't began to jeer and tease him. They insulted his head, his lunch, his glasses, and just about everything else they could think of. Zim stood there looking confident and gloating and Dib took the abuse from his peers. Thankfully the bell rang a few minutes later and the children abandoned the jeering to run to class.

Zim doubled his pace to catch up with Dib. "So, pathetic huuuu-man, how does it feel to be bested in your pathetic earth sport by me, the almighty Zim?"

"Dude," Dib said with a sigh. "It's just a game."

"A GAME?" Zim asked in an outrageously loud voice so that several people turned, startled to look at them. "This was no mere game, stink-face," Zim said, grinning horribly. "This was another battle in which I ZIIIM! Came forth victorious. You just don't want to admit it, that's all."

"Uh huh," Dib said slowly. "Because dodgeball is the most hardcore of battle grounds. Nothing says 'ultimate defeat' like getting whacked in the head with a foam ball."

"Well, it is a rather large head," Zim told him, narrowing his eyes. "Thusly, it makes for a good target."

"I was being sarcastic," Dib told him. "Besides, when you can best me when it matters and take over the world, then I'll admit defeat."

Zim snorted. "The time will be near when I take over your pathetic earth and claim it for the almighty Irken empire."

"And until then we have a geometry test in room 307," Dib said with snort. "Oh, and, I'm still taller then you," he laughed and ducked down the hall before Zim could smack him over the head with something.

"HEY! THAT WAS LOW YOU STUPID WORM BABY!" Zim yelled after Dib who was still cackling as he ran to his locker. Several students turned to gaze at Zim who was seething at Dib and mumble about his strange use of insults. Zim blinked and turned towards them, holding up his hands in a non-threatening gesture. "I umm… well… I'm normal," he said with a forced grin. "Yeup, totally normal. Just like you," he laughed nervously.

The students shrugged and went back to their mad rush to whatever class they had next. If he claimed he was normal, well… who was to judge?

Zim gave a sigh of relief and undid his locker combination to retrieve his next class' books. They were near the end of their second year of high school. It had been years since Zim had come to the planet and he was no closer to taking it over then he had been on day one. To make matters worse, Dib and everyone else had grown taller while he remained roughly the height of a twelve year old. While Dib was nearing six feet, he remained at about four feet, ten inches in height. This was demeaning because not only was he short, but he was older then any human in the school. By Earth years AND Irken years. Dib was now sixteen years old, which made him nineteen in Irken years and roughly 197 and a half in Earth years. But oh no, Dib had to go and grow taller then him. The jerk.

The bell rang for the next class and Zim squeaked as he shut the door on his hand in panic. The geometry teacher was not known for being kind to latecomers and he had already pushed her buttons earlier that week for ranting loudly in class about how normal he was. He reached the interior of the class just as the bell finished ringing and he gave a small sigh of relief. His reign of doom would have to wait until after he showed up Dib in Geometry, again.

* * *

"We are the Vertians!" a loud voice proclaimed. "We come from the planet of Verti and we are an almighty race of conquerors!"

Robin looked at the large, purple skinned man in front of him. He was tall, possibly about seven feet, and he had on think armor and wore several guns and what he guessed were weapons around his waist. His eyes were small, yellow and piggy looking in his large face and he wore a permanent sneer that showed ivory colored teeth. As frightening as he looked, this wasn't what raised Robin's blood pressure to critical, it was the giant armada of space ships behind him.

Robin gritted his teeth and fought to remain calm. "Earth is a backwater planet in the middle of nowhere. Not only that but we're under several peace contracts and allied with larger planets. You won't gain anything but a headache from trying to conquer Earth."

The Vertian's sneer grew larger and what sounded like a chuckle came up from his throat. "You belittle me, child," he said dangerously. "We do not care about such trivial things as promises and pieces of paper that mean nothing. We will take over this planet and we will do it because we want to."

"Is there anything we can do to resolve this matter peacefully?" a troubled Starfire asked. She floated up next to Robin and looked at the large screen that the Vertian's head was currently plastered on.

There was a full blown laugh that sounded like a dog dying. "Peace?" he asked. "One does not ask the almighty Warlord Jenjiba for peace! You get down on your knees and beg for mercy like the little flies you are and I may ponder your fate for a few seconds before I lay waste to this terrible eyesore."

"Listen, Warlord Jenjiba…" Robin started but the alien on the screen was interrupted by a scout of some kind coming up to him and handing him a piece of paper and saying something softly.

Jenjiba's eyes lit up as he read the paper and his sneer vanished. He looked eager, in a terrifying way as his eyes skimmed over the report that was handed to him. "Well, well, well…" he murmured. "Perhaps… perhaps I will consider relinquishing your planet for the time being IF you agree to do something for me first."

Robin's eyes narrowed. He knew what to expect from his type. A Warlord never gave up so easily, not unless something big was going on. "What?" he asked suspiciously.

"Have you heard of the Irken Empire?" Jenjiba asked simply.

"No…" Robin said slowly. "I…"

"I have," Starfire cut him off. The Titans turned to look at her and was shocked to see her shaking in anger. "They are the race of conquerors that strive to take over the universe by destroying entire planets and doing absolutely nothing with them except making them into parking structure planets are they not?"

"Well then, there is someone on your pathetic planet who knows a bit. That is correct girl, and they are our mortal enemies," Jenjiba stroked his chin. "It appears that there is an Irken Invader on your planet. We have just intercepted a message from him to his leaders. Undoubtedly he had the latest Irken technology and would be able to detect our ships coming into the atmosphere in a second but if you caught this Invader and brought him to us, I give you my word as a conqueror that we will leave your planet alone."

"What do you want with him?" Cyborg asked.

"Irkens are cyborgs, dependent on the technology on their backs to keep them alive. If I had an Irken I could use that technology to figure out their weaknesses and maybe a way to destroy them. They are powerful creatures though, so they are not to be taken lightly," Jenjiba nodded. "I am a tactician, I figure out the path that gives me the most and I feel that the chance of destroying the Irken Empire would be more profitable then taking over your planet. I am a ruthless warrior but I am no liar and I have my pride. Do we have a deal?" his yellow eyes narrowed.

Robin held up his hand. "This is an interplanetary thing…" he started.

"Robin, dude!" Beastboy protested. "What are you doing? He's got a freaking army ready to destroy our planet!"

"I believe we should take his offer as well," Starfire said coolly.

"I vote to stay out of it," Cyborg said quickly. "We have no business messing around in other races' business."

"I agree with Cyborg," Raven said quietly. "The less we get involved in interplanetary dealings the better."

Robin frowned. "It appears my team is at an impasse. Can I respectfully ask for a day or two to think it over before we get into something so big?"

Jenjiba grinned. "You are a polite little brat," he said, showing his large teeth. "Very well, young warrior. Since you apparently have more manners then the rest of your race combined, I will give you the time you request. However, at the end of two days, I will require an answer."

"Thank you," Robin said stiffly and the screen went blank. He turned to Starfire and frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Our planet and our neighboring planet have both had Irken invaders land on it. We managed to oust him but our neighbors didn't fare so well. They were destroyed and wiped out before we could send help," Starfire hissed. "They are ruthless cyborgs with no emotion and built for war. I rarely wish the demise of a race, but if I were to ever feel such a hatred, this would be it."

"Star, that guy's not much better," Cyborg pointed out calmly.

"I know," Starfire sighed. "But I believe that the Irkens are worse."

"How about we find this Irken and find out for ourselves," Raven suggested.

"Good idea. We can all decide for ourselves and see if it's bad enough to do this. I don't want to jump into an inter-galaxy war so quickly just yet," Robin said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I agree," Starfire said quietly. "I am sorry that I said such terrible things. I was just upset."

Robin put a hand on her shoulder in an effort to cheer her up. "Hey, it's all right. Everyone can be upset for some reason or another." Starfire gave Robin a wan smile in return for his efforts.

"So, let's go find this terrible person and see what we've got here," Cyborg suggested.

* * *

"And that's when I threw the chicken," Zim finished. "But then Dib-stink-face had to come and RUIN my AWESOME plan of DOOOOM by unplugging my power source!" Zim took in several deep breaths. He gazed up at the screen where two incredibly bored looking Tallest were zoning out. "My Tallest?" he asked.

A small dribble of drool fell out of Tallest Purple's mouth.

"My taaaallleesssttt…" Zim sang. Neither one said anything so Zim tried again. "My Tallest? My TALLEST! MY TAAAALLLEEESSSTT!" he yelled. "MY…" he began but Tallest Red snapped out of his stupor.

"Oh, oh, Zim?" he asked dazedly and brought his wits about him. He elbowed Purple who looked just about ready to slip into a coma.

"Yes. So, that's how my almost PERFECT incredibly awesome plan of DOOOM almost happened but not really," Zim said proudly. "So?"

"That was…" Red said slowly. "Ummm… different. Did the explanation really have to take 4 hours though? I mean," he laughed, "I was trying to see if you would stop for breath but it seems that I lost count of the time."

"Well, it was incredibly cool. I can see why the time would fly by so quickly," Zim said in a pseudo-modest voice.

"We're ummm…" Red tried to think of an excuse.

"We don't like you Zim!" Purple yelled. "Stop calling!" and the screen went blank.

Zim stood there for a few minutes, unblinking and then smiled. "Well, that went well. Perhaps my next plan will show them how incredibly awesome I can be and prove to them that I am capable of taking over this PATHETIC dirtball of a planet. Think they were impressed?" he asked the house computer.

"Sure," the computer answered, giving the answer he knew his master wanted to hear. Even if he said no, Zim would pretend he heard it as 'yes' so why even bother?

Zim glowed with pleasure and stepped away from the monitors. "Very well then. Computer, take me to the top floor."

A disc formed under Zim's feet and transported him to the top floor of the house where Gir and Minimoose were waiting expectantly. Zim raised a non existent eyebrow at the two robots. "What?" he asked.

"Candy!" Gir screamed.

"What?" Zim asked.

"I wants the candeh!" Gir squealed. "Please?"

"No," Zim said flatly.

"Awwww…" Gir pouted for one second before looking back up at Zim. "Please?"

"No," Zim told him again. "We're not getting candy."

"Awww, but mastah, I wants the candeh. It tastes goooooood…" Gir gave Zim a silly grin.

"Gir, candy is off limits until I get the Voot Cruiser fixed. Last time I gave you chocolate you went nuts and ran into the control panel and made us crash. IT WAS ANNOYING!" Zim yelled at Gir in an overly exaggerated way.

Gir merely blinked once then grinned again. "CANDEH!"

Zim sighed, then he got a brilliant idea. Although, all of his ideas were brilliant, but this one was amazingly brilliant. "If I get you candy, and tell you to stay up here while I fix the Voot cruiser, do you promise to stay up here?"

Gir looked around. "Wha?"

"Gir, listen to ME! YOUR MASTER!" Zim yelled. "Will you stay." He said slowly. "Up, here! If I go get you candy."

Gir seemed to ponder this decision very thoughtfully for all of two seconds before nodding his head quickly. "Okay!" he agreed.

"Fine then, get into your costume Gir and we'll go get candy," Zim sighed and trotted over to put on his own disguise.

* * *

"Well, it's reported that there's an alien in this town," Robin said. "I'm not sure how accurate these claims are, but it's something at least."

"Claims by who?" Cyborg asked.

"A kid, who has appeared in several places claiming that another kid is an alien," Robin replied.

"Maybe he's just crazy," Beast Boy suggested.

"Maybe," Robin agreed. "But we need a starting place."

Then, right in front of them as if in a badly timed fanfic, Zim came out of the candy shop across the street with an upright walking Gir and a floating, purple Minimoose over his head.

"No way…" Cyborg said slowly.

"Dude, who is he kidding with a disguise like that!" Beast Boy asked. "He's green!"

"Last time I checked, so were you," Raven said pointedly.

"Well ummm… he has no ears!" Beast Boy said, pointing to his own and wiggling them. "And he's got a floating moose!"

"Well… he certainly not normal," Robin said slowly. "Let's check this out from afar for now."

Starfire nodded. "Yes, it would be unwise to jump into something so rashly. If he is an Irken then we need to be careful, if he is not then we can not make any false accusations."

"Exactly," Robin said. "For now, let's use a bug and see what we can find out."

"Way ahead of ya," Cyborg said with a grin and fired a tiny bug that landed on Minimoose's butt. Cyborg winced and sighed. "Oh well," he said.

"Now?" Gir asked.

"No," Zim hissed. "Wait until we get back to the house. Human dogs don't eat chocolate!"

Cyborg's eyebrows shot up. "I think we have our guy. And dog's don't walk on two legs either," he muttered.

"Awww…" Gir sounded forlorn. He even waited a whole five seconds before asking, "Now?"

"No, Gir…" Zim said in an obviously annoyed voice.

Gir was silent for possibly twenty seconds. "Now?"

"GIR!" Zim barked.

There was a short paused. "Weeelllll?" Gir asked.

"No. Not. Until. We. Get. Home. Understand?" Zim asked.

"Yeup!" Gir said happily. Half a block later, "Now?"

Cyborg started to laugh as Zim's frustrated yell could be heard thanks to the bug. "This is the terrifying guy that's part of an emotionless, demonic race of cyborgs bent on taking over the universe?" he asked dubiously.

Starfire frowned. "He's not acting like any Irken I've seen," she said softly. "Maybe he isn't the right person."

"Nnnnooowwww?" Gir asked.

"Gir! I said you could have candy when we get home so you're out of my way while I repair the Voot cruiser so I can take over this sad little planet. I did not say you could annoy me about it every step we take until we get to the house. Now shut up!" Zim yelled.

Gir continued to skip along with a vacant expression. "Mastah?" he asked.

"What, Gir?" Zim asked, his nerves obviously fraying.

"Now?" Gir asked.

"I hate you," Zim said with relish. "I really do."

"Yaaaay!" Gir cheered.

At this point, both Cyborg and Beast Boy were rolling on the ground in laughter at the silly Gir and Raven was beginning to get a headache. Robin was trying his best to not be amused by the comedic antics of the two and Starfire was just puzzled.

"I do not understand," she said softly. "How…"

Robin shook his head, trying in vain to hide his grin. "I don't know, Star. Let's wait a but more before passing judgement."

* * *

Hi peoples brave enough to come in and read this. This is the result of eating looooots of mini recees peanut butter cups at 1 am. Anywho, I quickly discovered that writing for both shows requires two different writing styles, so this fic is going to be one hell of an adventure. But, eh, it seems interesting enough. Oh and BTW, Zim gets no magical revelation in this fic. He is a bad guy, he stays evil. He realized a few things yes, but for the most part at the end I very much intend to have him stay a self procclaimed bad guy with evil plans.

Enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

Zim walked into his house and pulled Gir in after him while casting a wary glance to make sure that no one was spying on him. He shut his door with a loud click and pulled off the wig, contact lenses and extra fingered gloves that made up his quote, unquote 'disguise'. Gir cheered loudly and jumped out of his dog costume and ran up to Zim. "Candeh!" he yelled and held out his hands. 

Zim searched in the bag and pulled out a ridiculously huge sucker and waved it in front of Gir. "You want this?" he asked.

Gir nodded quickly. "Uh huh!" he said and held out his hands.

"What do you promise?" Zim asked, pulling the sucker out of Gir's reach.

"Uhhh…" Gir murmured, his face blank. He brought his hand up to his chin and attempted to look thoughtful even though for the life of him he had no idea what Zim was talking about.

Zim sighed exasperatedly. "You will not come downstairs while I fix the Voot Cruiser, right?" he asked.

Gir nodded. "Right!" he agreed. "I will not go… ummm…"

"Downstairs…" Zim prompted him.

"Downstairs," Gir repeated. "Candy?"

"Very well," Zim said as he rolled his eyes. "Here," he said stiffly and handed Gir the giant sucker which Gir began to lick comically as he sat down on the floor. Minimoose floated over and squeaked once. Zim eyed him and sighed. "I got you the uhh… lick…red rope stuff you like. Whatever it is," he muttered and handed Minimoose some red licorice. Minimoose squeaked happily and took the offered treat.

"Now both of you will leave me ALONE!" Zim said dramatically. "Got it!"

"Uh huh!" Gir replied and continued to eat the sucker and Minimoose squeaked out his reply as he downed the piece of licorice and rooted in the bag for more.

"Good," Zim muttered and walked over to a corner of the room. "Computer, take me to the Voot repair hanger," he sighed. A disc underneath Zim's feet hovered to life and he disappeared down into the depths of his house.

"Bye mastah!" Gir yelled, waving wildly as Zim disappeared. The second he was gone he turned on the TV and continued his treat.

Zim came out of the elevator to see his ruined ship still randomly spurting electrical sparks and steaming from a crash that had happened over ten hours before. "Honestly, that stupid robot can't do ANYTHING right," Zim growled as he ran over to the Voot and grabbed the first tool off the table next to it.

Without a second thought he opened the hood and coughed loudly as more smoke billowed out. "WHAT?" he yelled. "It's…oh great. This is going to take DAYS!" he hissed as he leaned over and began to try and fix the part that was most damaged. "Computer!"

"Yes master?" the computer's voice chimed overhead.

"Why couldn't the auto repair system handle this?" Zim asked. "Nothing's been fixed!"

"The initial diagnostics revealed that the speed thruster matrix has been damaged beyond the repair of the system. If the computer tried to fix it, then the rockets would have been impossible to repair," the computer explained.

"LIES!" Zim yelled as he pressed a button under the hood. "You liiiiiieeee," he told his computer.

"Yes master," the computer sighed.

Zim eyed the computer and returned back to the work at hand. The engine purred to life and lit up under his touch and Zim grinned. "Ah well, I could use the excuse to stay away from Skool and Dib-stink-face for a few days. Computer, hand me the sharp pointy tool, this part is loose," he muttered and held out his hand.

Above them Gir and Minimoose were happily eating their candy and watching TV. Minimoose squeaked and Gir looked at him. "Think mastah will want something to eat after he ish done with the Voooot?" Gir asked.

Minimoose squeaked again.

"Me too! Let's go make stuff!" Gir cheered and abandoned his treat on the couch as he ran to the kitchen.

Down below Zim blinked. "Computer, status on Gir and Minimoose."

"It appears they are making something in the kitchen, master," the computer answered.

Zim's eye twitched before he busied himself with whatever part he was working on at the moment. "Don't let them in here. I'm not getting sick today," he growled.

"Yes, master," the computer answered and locked the door.

* * *

Cyborg shut off transmission and sighed. "Well… he's not… he doesn't seem to be a good guy but I can't exactly bring myself to say he's an evil, emotionless, bad guy either."

"I agree," Robin said slowly. "At the very least, I'm not sure if he's evil enough to risk Earth's involvement in an interplanetary war."

Starfire looked perplexed. "I still do not understand," she sighed. "I was not aware that Irken's were capable of any emotion, let alone care for their own."

"I'm not sure if he actually likes the two things he was with," Raven said dubiously. "But he doesn't seem quite like what was explained to us."

"What are we going to do?" Beast Boy asked.

Robin sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Well… we're going to try and avoid a war if we can. I don't know," he admitted softly. "Come on, let's go home…" he said slowly.

Cyborg stood up and narrowed his eyes. "Robin…" he murmured, letting his voice trail off as he seemed to be paying close attention to something else.

"What's wrong, Cyborg?" Robin asked, looking at Cyborg with a concerned expression.

"Looks like our Warlord's pride isn't quite what he claimed it to be," Cyborg said pointing up. "I'm not sure, but I feel interference up there. I think there's a cloaked space craft above us."

"You sure?" Beast Boy asked.

Cyborg nodded. "I felt the interference a bit ago but I thought it was coming from that alien's house."

Behind the Titans, a dark shadow emerged.

* * *

Zim stopped working on the burned out Voot for a bit and looked around. "Computer, are they still…"

"Not anymore, master. They have eaten everything and are watching the Scary Monkey Show," the computer replied.

"Good," Zim said happily. "Take me up to the top floor then. I wish to take a break. And fix the rest of the damn Voot. I changed the thrusters so nothing will be all explodey and it's your job anyway."

"…yes master," the computer answered and transported Zim up to the top floor.

"GIR!" Zim yelled as he came out of the trashcan. "GIR WHERE ARE YOOOOU!"

"Heeeeeey," Gir said, waving frantically from the couch.

"Gir, I need you to…." Zim's voice trailed off. He walked over to the window and gazed outside at the sky. Frowning he summoned the goggles from his Pak and placed then over his eyes, turning the knobs until he could see the faint outline of a battle cruiser. "GIR!"

"Yeeeees?" Gir asked.

"There is a large alien ship OUTSIDE MY HOUSE!" Zim yelled, pointing outside. "Can you not SENSE it?"

Gir blinked. "Oh yeaaaaah," Gir giggled.

Zim snarled at Gir and retracted his goggled. "I'm going out to investigate. Gir, you stay here and guard the base," Zim ordered and left the house, slamming the door behind him.

Gir turned red for a second and saluted the now gone Zim. "Yes sir!" he said gruffly and then turned back to his normal cyan color and curled up on the couch to sleep.

* * *

Starfire squealed as she was thrown into a tree. "STAR!" Robin yelled and ran over. "Why are you here?"

"Well, the plan was to use you to distract the Irken if he sensed you and then capture him but it appears that we overestimated him," the Vertian captain snarled. "So, now we may as well just get rid of you before catching the Irken."

"Like hell," Raven snarled and flew at the Vertian. She raked her hands through the air like claws and left jagged black marks in their wake. With one gesture the long black marks flew at the large aliens and threw them into the ground.

Beast Boy jumped into the air and turned into a lion. He jumped at the nearest alien and began to snarl and tear at him with his sharp claws but whatever armor the alien was wearing seemed to be claw proof.

Robin pulled out his bo-staff and brought it down on the captain's head as hard as he could. The force of the attack pushed his back and he flipped neatly over the alien, landing facing his opponent and putting his hand on the ground to stop his momentum. With a smirk he looked up at the alien who merely blinked. "Was that supposed to hurt, earth child?"

Robin looked surprised and jumped up as the captain pulled a gun out from his belt and began to fire at him. He brought up his bo-staff and blocked several energy bullets before twirling it to create a shield and backing off. With a grimace he stepped back and jumped behind a tree and raised a hand to signify to his team that they could pull back as well.

Cyborg shot one blinding energy beam at his own enemy before joining Robin and the others soon followed. The alien that Cyborg shot looked down at himself and dusted off his armor. "It appears that the humans are as weak as we were led to believe."

Robin's grip on his staff tightened as he growled. "The armor is preventing any attack from getting through. Star, do you have any suggestions?"

"I am not used to such things. I have never seen any armor such as this before in my life," Star said breathlessly as she held her side.

Robin eyed her. "Are you all right?" he asked in a concerned voice. "Maybe we should pull back for now. They're not after us, they're after that alien."

"I agree," Raven said as she came up from a shadow beneath them. "We need to regroup and figure this out for ourselves."

"Heh, pathetic humans. Don't think we'll let you go so easily!" the captain yelled. "After we finish you off we'll go after the pathetic Irken Invader."

"Who are you to DAAAAARE call ME the almighty ZIIIM pathetic, you large headed Vertian space trash!" a voice called through the trees.

The captain twitched and turned slowly to see Zim who was supported by his spider legs and looking impressively menacing, silhouetted against the full moon. He stepped forward once and one of his spider legs fell into a gopher hole and he pitched forward, rolling down the hill and yelling out as he landed in a heap at the foot of the large alien.

"You've got to be kidding me…" Cyborg said softly.

"We are so dead," Beast Boy whimpered.

"That was pathetically easy," the captain chuckled. "I'm almost tempted to leave you here that was so sad," he said with a grin as he reached down to pick up Zim.

Zim opened one red eye and activated one of his spider legs so that a laser cutter glowed at the end. He stabbed blindly and through some amount of sheer luck he managed to hit the Vertian in his eye. The Vertian roared in pain and brought his hands to his face in order to stop the blood that came from his eye as Zim jumped back and once again supported himself with his Pak. "Stupid earth digging animals," he hissed. "You will rue the day I ZIIIM stepped onto this dirt ball planet!"

"Get…him…" the pained captain hissed, pointing at where Zim's voice came from.

"HA!" Zim yelled and twisted the upper two legs to focus a ball of energy between them. It grew larger and larger until Zim fired it off as a beam at the two aliens coming up at him. "You think you stupid smelly…trash…jerks can take on ZIM?"

"He needs some new insults," Raven noted.

"My superior hearing…hears you little worm-baby child!" Zim yelled as he jumped over the now fried Vertians and landed closer to the Titans. "Zim's insults are far more mighty then your pathetic earth insults will ever be."

"Says the alien who refers to himself in the third person," Raven noted.

"What's wrong with that?" Zim asked in a normal tone, turning to face Raven, looking genuinely confused.

"Dude, look out!" Cyborg yelled, pointing somewhere behind Zim.

Zim turned around and sunk to the ground, letting the Vertian who had just jumped at him plow face first into the ground. Zim smirked and raised himself back up. "Ha, stupid space trash. It's about one hundred years too early for you to be taking on an Irken Invader!"

The Captain stood up and drew his weapon with a shaking hand while still covering his bleeding eye and leveled his weapon at the gloating Zim. Through another stroke of luck, Zim saw this out of the corner of his eye and used the two spider legs he was using to support himself to launch himself off the ground. In mid air he stuck the legs out on either side of himself and formed a circular shield that surrounded his body. This deflected the two shots that the Vertian had managed to fire at him while also causing quite a bit of pain to the Vertian that he landed on as he came back to Earth.

"Damn Irken!" the captain hissed. He looked around at his defeated soldiers and hissed, "retreat, we're going back to the mother ship."

"The mother ship…" Zim murmured. "This planet is targeted by the Vertians? I don't think so," he said with a wicked grin and launched himself at the alien captain. "Watch closely worm babies!" he yelled in the direction of the Titans. "This is how you kill a Vertian!" He landed behind the Vertian and drove one of his spider legs through the back of his neck.

The Vertian's lone eye widened and went dull as his other hand fell away from the eye that Zim had already ruined. He twitched once then fell to the ground as Zim pulled the spider leg out of his neck.

Starfire gasped and brought her hand over her mouth as if she was going to be sick. Beast Boy also looked rather ill and the remaining Titans were just in shock.

"HOW DARE YOU!" one of the felled foot soldiers yelled. "DIE IRKEN SCUM!"

Zim grinned wickedly and jumped up into the trees, using the darkness for cover and appeared over the enraged Vertian ending his life as well. The rest of the Vertians were so angered that they too came at Zim who merely used the same tactic and ended their lives as well until there were five dead soldiers and one dead captain and a very happy, gloating Zim.

"Ha! Your pathetic race stands no chance against the Irken empire, FOOLS!" Zim snarled as he landed, catlike on the ground. "Once again the superior ZIM is victorious." Zim pumped his fists into the air. "VICTORY FOR ZIM!" he yelled.

"Did you have to kill them?" Robin asked softly as he stepped into the moonlight.

Zim turned around and raised an 'eyebrow' at the oddly dressed human. "And you are?" he asked rudely.

"My name is Robin. I'm leader of the Teen Titans," Robin said, putting a hand on his chest.

"Teen…what?" Zim asked dubiously.

Raven, Beast Boy, Cyborg and finally Starfire appeared behind him respectively. Zim eyed them and nodded slowly. "What? Is it some weird human club where you worm babies have contests to see who can dress the weirdest?"

"We're superheroes," Beast Boy said.

"What? Like those weird cartoons Gir watches?" Zim asked, narrowing one eye and looked at them oddly.

"We all have powers that we use in order to protect this planet," Robin explained. "We fight against evil and make sure our planet stays safe."

"Uh huh…" Zim said slowly. "So what, you're here to try and fight me?"

"We were fighting them!" Robin said angrily.

"And loosing," Zim snorted. "I just ended the battle, that's all."

"You slaughtered them!" Starfire yelled, pointing at the bodies of the aliens. "You killed them without a second thought! Does life mean so little to you?"

"Duh," Zim said as if this was the most obvious thing ever. "I'm an Irken. I came here to take over this stupid planet for my empire and I refuse to let anyone else do so. They were trying to kill me so I'm just doing what I need to do in order to stay alive." Zim narrowed his eyes. "What's a Troq like you doing on this backwater planet anyways?"

Starfire clenched her fists until they shook at the use of the racial slur. "Don't you DARE call me that!" she yelled and flew forward to try and punch Zim. Zim jumped out of the way and landed safely in another tree so Starfire merely punched the tree behind him and obliterated it.

"Ha ha, stupid Tameranian," Zim jeered. "You are no match for the superior ZIM," he held onto the branch and pulled out two of his spider legs, letting them glow a dim blue in the dark.

Before anything could happen, a silver and blue blur crashed into Zim's back, knocking him out of the tree and sending him to the ground below. Zim landed on his back and looked up dazedly to see a grinning Gir right before the little robot slammed into his chest, knocking the air out of Zim. "AH MY ORGANS!" he yelled.

"I wanna do that agaiiiiin," Gir said clapping his hands like a five year old.

"Ow…" Zim said slowly. "Gir, what are you doing here?"

"Well, you said that there wassa ship! And so I came to help! I'm supposed to help you master, right?" Gir asked, in an eager to please voice.

"Twenty minutes after I left?" Zim asked, obviously annoyed.

"The Crazy Monkey Show was on," Gir pouted. "I wanted to see it."

Zim sighed heavily. "Get off me Gir," he said while pushing the robot off his chest. He sat up and rubbed his head. "I thought I asked you to guard the base!"

Gir's eyes widened in a slow realization. "Oh yeeeaaaaahhhh…" he said slowly. "Huh."

"Who is that?" Beast Boy asked, pointing at Gir.

Zim stood up and dusted himself off. "That is Gir, my robot minion who is helping me to take over this planet. He is the prime example of Irken engineering," Zim said proudly.

"Lookit, I can stand on mah head!" Gir said while flipping over.

Zim looked at him silently for a second before shrugging. "He's… special," Zim explained.

"I see that," Cyborg said with a raised eyebrow.

Gir flipped back over and latched onto Zim, giving him a very painful looking hug. "OW!" Zim yelled. "Gir… you're squishing me…UNHAND YOUR MASTER!"

"Awww, but you looked upset! The TV says when someone's upset you give em a hug and they feel better," Gir gushed happily. "Feel better?"

"No," Zim replied flatly. "I'll FEEL better when you release me."

Gir hugged Zim again, even more tightly then before. "Feel better now?" he asked.

The Titans looked on silently as Zim fought for breath from his overly affectionate robot. "Let goooooo ooofff MEEEEEE," Zim groaned.

"Feel better?" Gir asked again.

"Yes, I feel better. NOW LET ZIM GO!" Zim screeched.

"Okies!" Gir said and released Zim who began to gasp for breath as he fell to his knees. "Hee, you looks lots better."

"Ow," Zim said softly.

"If you are an Irken then why do you not get rid of the flawed programming in your robot?" Starfire asked, crossing her arms and looking down at Zim.

Zim rubbed his side and stood up. "Gir isn't flawed, he's advanced!" he proclaimed loudly. "Besides, I tried already and I prefer him this way."

"I loves you too master!" Gir cheered then burst into a fit of giggles.

Zim pointed at Gir and rolled his eyes. "I don't love him. Irkens don't love," he emphasized for clarification. He crossed his arms and shook his head. "Besides, he does help. Sometimes."

"Are you going to fight against the Vertians?" Robin asked suddenly.

"Pfft, of course, bird-human," Zim. "The only one worthy of taking over your pathetic dirt ball is ME!"

"Bird-human?" Robin asked.

"You called yourself… what's it… Robin? That is a bird, is it not?" Zim asked while raising a non-existent eyebrow.

"Well…" Robin replied slowly while trying to wrap his mind around Zim's weird logic and speech patterns.

"So, BIRD-HUMAN, to answer your question, yes I plan to take on the Vertians," Zim answered.

"You're going to save the earth so you can take it over," Cyborg asked.

"Yes," Zim replied. "That's exactly what I intend to do weird… robot…human thing…" Zim blinked. "What ARE you anyways?"

"I'm a cyborg. Part human, part machine. Kind of like you," he noted. "My name is also, Cyborg, by the way."

"You, a lowly human compare yourself to the superior ZIM? Ha, don't make me laugh. My Pak is far more advanced then anything your pathetic planet could ever hope for," Zim snarled.

"Is that why it's sparking?" Raven asked, eyeing Zim's back.

"Wha?" Zim asked and turned to see his Pak letting little jets of sparks come out from a rather large crack near the middle. "Oh Irk," he sighed rubbing his forehead. "Gir, you're never allowed to knock me out of a tree again."

"Okeh!" Gir said and skipped off into the darkness.

Zim rolled his eyes and growled. "Great, now not only do I have to fix my damn ship but I have to fix my Pak too. This is just…perfect."

"So we'll be seeing more of you, I take it," Robin asked.

Zim glared at him. "If you and your weird friends plan on going up against the Vertians then fine. But don't think I'll help you just because we have a common enemy. I need no one and I help no one. I AM ZIM!"

"We kinda figured that," Beast Boy said, starting to get a little annoyed by the narcissistic alien.

"Hmph," Zim snorted and walked out of the clearing without another word.

"This is going to be interesting," Robin sighed.

"Tell me about it," Cyborg said, rolling his eyes. "Dude, he was annoying."

"But different," Starfire said softly. "When he was killing those aliens, that's how the Irkens I saw were all the time. They did everything they could to damage and harm. But he seems almost… nice when he's with his robot."

Cyborg shrugged, "Ponder it later Star. We gotta go before these guys' leader comes and finds us."

"Good idea," Robin replied and together the Titans fled the scene of carnage that Zim had created.

Okay, I just saw the episode "Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars" and... wooooow... That was the best episode EVER!

* * *

Zim: Go...shave you large head of smell with your bad self 

Dib: There's so many things wrong with what you just said

Okay, best lines ever XD my goal for this fic is to try and write a bit of dialogue that memorable XD

By the way, no I was not trying to copy the 'Vort' people. Actually, when I saw the Vort Llardnar (sp?) he looked to be about as tall as Zim. I figure that the Vertians are a lot taller and look quite a bit different, truth be told. Anyways, this fic gets kinda serious later but I try and keep the humor as much as I can. Also, it's fairly long, the issues with the Vertians are just a small amount of the problems that Zim will have to face. Poor guy.

Glad you guys like this! I'm having a grand time writing it. Really, it's so much fuuuuun.

BTW: It has been brought to my attention that Zim seems a little too compitent in the battle scene. I just want to say this, the impression I got from Zim is that he's an able fighter and a very able mechanic and inventor it's just that he's so obsessed with one detail that he can't get beyond it and thus ruins his own plans. He's self thwarting! Amazing! Anyways, plus, in Plague of Babies I recall him being quite skillful with his Pak and quite compitent. But again, that's just me XD I just thought I'd give you my impression on this.

Also, I've only seen like... 6 episodes XD I'm catching what I can on Nicktoons Network on the weekends and a friend's tapes while I babysit. Still, I'm saving up for the DVD's. Something tells me they would be a riot.


	3. Chapter 3

Dib had long since stopped trying to capture Zim. He now just settled for thwarting the occasional attempts at world domination and embarrassing Zim at school when given the chance. About six months prior, Dib had discovered something that he felt exempted Zim from a lifetime of being probed for the sake of paranormal science. This discovery was of course that Zim's entire planet hated him. 

Even if Zim didn't realize this fact, Dib did and in some ways it made him feel a little sorry for the meglomaniacal alien. Even more so because after doing a little late night digging, he discovered that Zim was an Irken who was deemed 'defective' and only spared out of what he could figure was a twist of dumb luck. Zim was an outcast of his own society and happily not aware of it but Dib sometimes had to wonder if he ever got even an inkling of what his own society really thought of him.

Oh sure, he hated Zim's guts. But he didn't hate Zim because he was an alien; he hated Zim because he was a narcissistic, meglomaniacal, homicidal jerk who was bent on destroying his planet. His hatred was in the context that Zim wasn't a nice person, not the context that he was a little green man from beyond the stars.

After three years of fighting Zim, he finally had gotten the bright idea of researching Zim a bit more and began to intercept calls and read about the Irkens with the help of the ship that had fallen into his yard. Six months previous, he discovered that Zim was a defective and that he was actually very different from the rest of his race of clones. And well… after that, his capture held no glory for him anymore. Not after he realized that Zim was wanted dead by his own people. It was part of being human. Of course, that didn't mean that he had any problems with shooting Zim, pummeling his ship into the ground with scrambler signals or gloating about his height.

Zim was a little bastard, but that was just his personality. The fact that Zim even had a personality, as Dib knew, was a feat in and of its self for an Irken. Besides, he would get totally bored if he didn't have Zim as his archenemy.

With a sigh Dib gazed at the ceiling of his room and rolled his eyes. Lately though, things had ground to a halt. Finals were coming up and everyone was busy trying to make sure they passed the 10th grade, even Zim. Which was odd, because as far as he knew, Zim didn't need to study, he just scanned the information into his Pak and that was it. But it almost seemed as if Zim's crazy schemes were slowing down.

Or maybe he was slowing down.

Dib shrugged and pulled his bed's comforter over his head. He was thinking too hard and he needed some rest before the next school day dawned. Which was in roughly six hours, unfortunately for Dib.

* * *

Zim walked wearily into his repair room and looked around. "Computer, make sure Minimoose and Gir don't come in here while I'm repairing my Pak," he said and shut the door before the computer even had a chance to reply. With a small sigh he walked over to the table and turned around so that his back was facing it. "Pak, voice manual command for repair. Lock system, undo."

The Pak whirred a bit then chimed, "Lock system deactivated." The spotted device floated off Zim's back and landed neatly on the table behind him. Zim quickly grabbed it to remain in contact with the neural interface system so that the ten-minute lifelock wouldn't begin and reached over to grab a tool hanging over the table.

"Stupid robot," he muttered as he pressed the white-hot tip to the edge of the tool against the broken Pak and began to close the jagged cut. Above him the communications screen flickered to life and the face of Jenjiba appeared in all his glory.

"Hello, pitiful Irken," he sneered.

Zim glanced over at the screen, blinked once then resumed his work. "Yeah, whaddya want?" he drawled, clearly not impressed.

"Listen to me, Irken scum. That was my weakest captain and those were scouting soldiers. Do not think your victory means a lot against us," Jenjiba snarled.

"Hey," Zim snarled. "You were the one that sent inferior scum to face ME! Although I could defeat any of your pathetic soldiers on my own with no help for I am far more superior to you. Don't blame me for your stupidness…ness."

"You ARE quite the annoying Irken brat, aren't you," Jenjiba asked.

Zim made a rude noise and resumed repairing his Pak. "I just totally kicked your inferior ass too," he said proudly. "How did you hack into my communications anyway?"

"Your 'superior' coding was quite easy to hack, Irken brat," Jenjiba sneered at Zim.

Zim's red eyes narrowed, then a horrible grin crossed his face. He picked up his Pak and walked over to the other side of the room where he fished around until he pulled out a small disk. He pushed it into the slot and waved at Jenjiba cheekily. "My superior technology says hello," he laughed and watched the screen go blank. "Stuuuuupid Vertian. He thinks he can outsmart the… really, really smart ZIM? Ha!" he snorted and walked back over to the table to resume the repairs. Which, in the coming months, was just the first of many.

Up in space, Jenjiba was cursing Zim and thinking of the many horrible ways in which he would die as he fought to regain control of his ship from the virus that the 'terrible Irken brat' had just uploaded into the ship's main computer.

* * *

Thanks to the 'present' from Zim, the armada was busy over the next couple of weeks cleaning the virus from their systems and making sure it didn't spread anywhere else. Meanwhile, Zim and Dib were finishing off tenth grade and getting ready for summer.

"It's not fair!" Dib hissed at Zim as they walked to skool. This had been a daily occurrence since high skool began. For some reason, exchanging witty banter every morning gave the boys enough energy to make it through the day. "You don't have to study, you just put the data into that Pak of yours and you ace every test!"

"Well, I am a superior Irken," Zim said smugly, grinning up at Dib.

"Yeah, a superior pain in the ass," Dib muttered.

"You're just jealous because I am obviously so much BETTER then you are," Zim sneered. "I'm smarter and stronger and I always will be."

"And I'm taller," Dib said in his own smug tone, grinning back at Zim.

"That will only work so many times, worm-baby," Zim growled warningly.

"Yeah, and you don't think your 'I'm superior to everything in the universe' rant hasn't gotten tiring over 4 years!" Dib snapped back.

"Well, it's TRUE!" Zim sniffed. "I AM superior. And one day I will be your slave master!"

"Uh huh… sure," Dib replied sarcastically. "Well… almighty master, you're about to be late to your history final if you don't get your superior butt in gear," Dib laughed and ran ahead of Zim with his longer legs into the Skool.

Zim snarled and ran as fast as he could to his locker to begin his final day of tenth grade.

Zim stared at the clock as it neared 3 pm. 3 pm and he would be able to leave, just a few more minutes. A little longer…

"You know, for someone who has proven that he can create machines that mess with the scope of time, it's kind of sad that you're reduced to staring at the clock in hopes that it will go faster," Dib said from the seat behind Zim.

"Shut your noise tube, pathetic human," Zim hissed back. "Speeding up and slowing down time isn't as easy as you may think it is."

"I don't think it's easy," Dib sighed. "That's my point."

"I don't understand the logic that comes from your enormously large head of smell, that stinks," Zim replied curtly.

Dib rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "And I don't understand a damn thing you say half the time," he muttered to himself, quietly enough so that Zim couldn't hear. Or so he thought.

Just as Zim was about to turn around and pick a fight with Dib, the bell rang and students poured out of open windows, doors and ventilating shafts in an effort to get away from the skool building. A few had even planned ahead and brought explosives to blast their way out once it hit 3 pm.

Zim decided that he would rather go home and plan world domination with his new found free time then argue with Dib. He'd do plenty of arguing with Dib once he had an organic matter obliterating bomb or something.

…actually, that wasn't a bad idea. Zim mulled it over in his head as he walked down the street towards his house. It would take some time to create, obviously. He'd probably have to write the program from scratch and build it carefully so that it wouldn't go off in his fortress, buuuuut… who knew?

"Irken Invader," a gruff voice said behind him.

Zim stopped, and it took him a few seconds to realize that the speaker wasn't talking in English like most other humans in that area. His translator was working, but something about what the person said was off. Zim's faux blue eyes widened, as he realized it. He was in costume! No one should be able to see through his disguise, unless…

"Warlord Jenjiba wishes to see you," the voice sneered.

Zim turned around and licked his dry lips, his Pak's programming switching to translate the language for him. "You can tell your Warlord that I see no one unless I want to," he replied in a haughty tone. "Zim answers to no one, Vertian space trash."

The Vertian that he had just insulted stood nearly two feet taller then Zim. He was big and hulking and looked just about ready to tear Zim's head off. "You are lucky that I was given orders to take you back alive, smeet."

Zim raised an 'eyebrow' at the use of the biological term that was used to describe the earliest stages of an Irken's life. "You daaaare call ME a smeet? I've probably been alive longer then your Warlord!"

The Vertian sneered, "That says nothing for mental development, brat. You're just a punk Irken who got in way over his head."

Zim narrowed his eyes and growled at the Vertian. "I killed those other soldiers, what makes you think you'll fare so much better?" he spat. "There's no way you'd be able to defeat ME."

The Vertian pulled out a gun and held it level with Zim's head. "Just shut up and come with me, and I promise not to hurt you much."

Zim was clearly unimpressed. In fact, he looked in of bored. "That's pathetic," he told the Vertian and brought a microphone out of his Pak. "GIR! Come to your master's aid at ONCE!"

"Calling for help?" the Vertian sneered. "Oh how sad," he laughed.

Zim looked at his watch. "Wait for it," he said quietly with a nasty grin on his face. The Vertian was able to blink once before Gir flew right into the back of the Vertian's head, probably killing him from the force of the blow, and knocking him over. Zim took a few steps back as the body fell forward at his feet.

"Yeeeeeees?" Gir asked, standing up and jumping over to Zim. "What is it, mastah?"

"Eh, nothing anymore. You did your work just fine Gir. Good job," he said with a smile and even gave Gir a pat on the head for his efforts. "Now, take me HOOOME so that I may start on my new diabolical plan."

"Wait!" Robin's voice said behind him.

Zim turned around to see the Titans standing behind him. He gave them an exasperated sigh for their troubles and crossed his arms. "Look, bird-human or… whatever, skool just let out. I have free time, I want to go plot so that Dib-stink and I will have our undoubted confrontation and have a gigantic battle in which no one wins and millions in property damage is caused then we go home and do it again. It keeps my life from being boring."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever actually come close to conquering the earth?" he asked.

Zim gave a non-committal shrug. "OF COURSE!" Zim screeched, clearly offended at the implication that he wasn't very good at his job. He looked thoughtful for a second. "Once, I think," he said with a big grin. "It's fun. Now, what do you want?"

Robin pointed behind Zim at the alien who was lying in the ground. "That?"

"Okay, I usually don't make excuses, but just so you don't lecture me on how killing is wrong, because I don't have the time to stand her and listen to it, the guy came after me first, okay? Oh, and Gir did that," Zim added.

"Whooo!" Gir cheered and ran between Zim and Robin to the park across the street. Both boys watched him run then resumed staring each other down.

"I didn't come here to lecture you. I came here to warn you," Robin said.

"Even if you are an enemy of my people, it is not fair to let the Vertians target you in such a manner," Starfire said quietly behind Zim.

"What, you mean the whole thing where the Warlord Jenjiba wants to capture me so that he can steal the information in my Pak to find a way to defeat the Irken empire?" Zim asked.

There was a long pause before Cyborg decided to speak up. "How did you know that?"

"The moron called me on my video feed to tell me his plans," Zim snorted. "Then I uploaded an AWESOME virus into his computer for hacking into MY monitor," he finished with an evil grin. "It was really cool."

"Well…" Robin paused. "It explains why they haven't tried to invade for the past few weeks."

"DUH," Zim yelled. "I am a superior Irken. It's going to take a lot more then that to fell the almighty ZIM!"

In spite of himself, Robin felt almost amused at Zim's antics. It piqued his interest that even though Zim was, a self-proclaimed 'bad guy' he wasn't an open and shut book. He was nothing that he was supposed to be, and everything he shouldn't have been. It was interesting, and frustrating to not know if Zim was serious about taking over the planet, or if he just thought of it as a game. Perhaps he would never know the answer. And somehow, all that did was make him wonder even more. "Well, we just came by to make sure you weren't 'felled' by the giant alien."

Zim laughed, long and hard. "I can't believe a bunch of worm babies are actually stupid enough to even begin to worry about someone who has basically all but said 'I will destroy you next.'"

"It's a hero thing," Raven said flatly. "Don't think it means we like you."

"Oh thank Irk," Zim said in a mocking voice. "I was so worried about what you cared, shadow-human."

"Dude, we're just trying to…" Beast Boy started but Robin held out his hand to stop him.

"We're doing our job, Zim. Just like you're doing yours. The Warlord out there wants to take over earth, he also wants you. As long as he doesn't have you, he won't destroy the planet," Robin explain in a cool voice as he tried to make it sound as cut and dry as possible.

Zim actually grinned at Robin for his efforts. "I believe you are the first human I've met to actually think like that."

"That is the most offhanded compliment I've ever received," Robin murmured.

"I didn't intend it as a compliment, bird-human. I was just telling you that everyone else I've met always has some 'ulterior' motive for helping someone they clearly don't like. Even Dib," Zim shrugged. "I'm going back to my house now. I don't need your help," he finished and waved his hand. "GIR! Come on."

"Comin'," Gir yelled and trotted over to where Zim was. "Can we get ice cream?" he asked.

"Sure," Zim said, feeling somewhat in a decent mood since there was no more skool to fear for over three months. He figured it would be a good idea to indulge Gir so that when he wanted to work, Gir would leave him alone.

Gir was pleasantly surprised that Zim was actually being decent to him and cheered in a loud, annoying voice and ran ahead of Zim like a happy kid. Zim sighed and followed the hyper dog-brained robot down the street towards the ice-cream parlor.

The Titans watched him walk off after Gir, even more confused then ever about who or what Zim really was.

* * *

Several days later, Zim was in the basement, working on his bomb when there was a transmission sent to his computer from Irk. Zim glanced up from his work to see Purple and Red grinning down at him and he immediately forgot everything that he was working on. "My Tallest!" he said happily. "This is an honor, to be called. What is it that you need me to do?"

"Zim, we want you to come to the Massive," Red purred, his grin growing larger. "We're um… throwing another party for you. In your honor for being such an amazing invader."

Purple put his hands over his mouth in a badly masked effort to hide his laughter, but he needn't have tried. Zim was far too excited to even notice Purple's odd behavior. "R-right away my Tallest!" he said breathlessly as he ran about his lab gathering the things he would need. "I will be there as soon as I can."

"Right, good work soldier!" Red saluted him mockingly and watched as the screen went blank. As soon as transmission was cut off, he too burst into laughter with his friend. "Oh my Irk! He fell for it! How stupid do you have to be," he laughed.

"He doesn't even suspect that we've fixed the control brains. Think we can deactivate him this time?" Purple asked excitedly.

"Even if we can't, the main Control Brain should have enough backup to at least wipe his memories and personality files. If that much is done, then we wouldn't even need to worry about him being defective anymore," Red replied happily. "Zim will be out of our worries forever, either way."

"Yay!" Purple cheered. "How long do we have to wait?"

"I made sure we were close to Earth," Red assured his friend. "Shouldn't be more then a few hours."

Sure enough, a few hours later, Zim's Voot signal came though loud and clear as he parked in the Massive. Red and Purple saw this and both cheered quietly before trying their best to look stoic in front of the Control Brains as Zim walked in.

"I AM HERE!" Zim announced flamboyantly. "You may all start clapping and celebrating! For I, the superior and powerful Irken soldier ZIM is here!"

Red allowed himself to roll his eyes before pointing at Zim. "All right, Control Brains, let's do this."

Zim looked up to see the floating brains extend several wires that wrapped themselves firmly around his wrists, ankles, waist and neck to prevent movement. Zim glanced at the Tallest in a puzzled manner as he was lifted up in front of the Main Control Brain and a 7th cord was plugged into his Pak. "My Tallest?" he asked.

Red undid a scroll and began to read its contents happily. "Irken Zim. You are charged with being responsible for the deaths of Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Spork, as well as practically every bad thing that's happened on Irk since you were born. In continuation of your trial before your corrupted Pak destroyed some of the Control Brains, we charge you with being deactivated and your Pak destroyed."

Zim began to feel something in the pit of his stomach that cut through his ego like a hot knife and told him that he should be fighting with all his strength. But somehow he just couldn't bring himself to believe it. Him? The most perfect Irken, defective? How is that even possible? "Ha ha," he said shakily. "That's funny my Tallest. Wonderful joke, now can we celebrate how awesome I am?"

The Main Control Brain spoke up in a deep and authoritative voice. "This is no joke, defective," it spat. "Your defective Pak may have saved you last time, but now you are going to be deactivated, now accept your fate."

"What?" Zim asked, blinking slowly before the charge that the Main Control Brain had sent through the cord attacked to his Pak reached him. Zim cried out once before being perfectly still, slack against the cords that held him in the air.

Tallests Red and Purple both began to cheer loudly as Zim went still but the Main Control Brain cut their celebration short. "My Tallest," it boomed.

"Yes?" Red asked, still grinning.

"He's not dead. I can't completely wipe his Pak without corrupting the Control Brains again," it said. "I request to suppress what I can and encode it."

"Suppress his personality and memories," Red sighed. "Encode them, and make sure there's no way for anyone to get to them."

"Yes, my Tallest," it said and sent another signal through the cord then lowered Zim back to the floor. "Occupation?" it asked.

"Let's send him back into exile!" Purple whined.

Red shook his head, smiling. "No… this Zim has nothing but programming. He'll listen to everything we say and be the perfect soldier. We can take advantage of that."

"But we hate him!" Purple protested.

"Yeah, and now we get to boss him around all we want without any annoying rants or anything," Red said wickedly.

"Oooooooh," Purple said, knowingly. "Yeah, I like that."

"My Tallest?" The control brain asked.

"Encode his Pak with the Invader occupation," Red commanded. "We have plans for him."

"Very well," the Main Control Brain agreed and did just that, then released Zim from the connection.

Zim's Pak beeped once. "Reactivation," it said and a light blue glow covered Zim, sparking his body back into life.

Red and Purple looked at the short Irken gleefully as his empty red eyes opened slowly. He stood there, and after looking at him for a bit, Red and Purple seemed a bit put out. Zim stared back with dark eyes that showed no light and no emotion, waiting for any command, just as his Pak told him.

"Zim?" Red asked finally.

"Yes, sir?" Zim asked, saluting Red with his hand.

Red shook off his apprehension and relaxed. This was what every other Irken did, and it was now what Zim did. Perhaps now Zim would actually be useful. "You are hereby assigned to Earth as an Invader. Blend in, find out the secrets and take over the planet. Call when you require backup."

"Yes, sir!" Zim saluted again then turned on his heel and walked stiffly out of the hallway, leaving the Tallest behind with slightly mixed reactions.

"That was…" Purple said slowly.

"Yeah," Red agreed. "Oh well, not our problem. Who wants donuts?" he asked.

"I do! I do!" Purple waved his hand and the two left the room in search of their snacks.

* * *

Yeah, it gets a little... weird from here on in. Just warning you guys. Zim however stays like that for all of one chapter, (I think) so don't worry. Anywho, I have to say that this is quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever written. Damn, it is just so hard to keep everyone IC while trying to give Zim... reasons to act the way he does.

Also, on the subject of Dib. He will seem a little less... obsessive in this fic for the mere reason that I desperately needed a foil for Zim. Someone to explain everything to the Tians and have a reason to hate Zim but still not be able to bring themselves to... want to destroy him, if that makes any sense. He's still very much the paranormal investigator and he still loves 'weird and unusual' things. It's just that it's toned down a bit. So WHEN he meets the Titans he's not like "OMG must get camera!"

However, I do plan to have Dib annoy the hell out of Raven with his monologues. Some things will never change.

So, fair warning to you all on what's coming up and stuff. Figured you guys would like a heads up.


	4. Chapter 4

Dib sighed as he read his summer reading under a tree in the park. He was kind of secretly hoping that Zim would have tried some crazy take over plot by that point. They had almost been out of school for a week and he was beginning to get bored. 

He slowly turned the page and watched the words meld together as he vainly fought to pay attention to the book. Somewhere on the other side of the park, there was a loud explosion that put the book at hand way down on Dib's to do list. "Finally," he breathed and got up.

It took him awhile to make it over to where the explosion was, but once he got there, he didn't regret it. A pretty girl flew over head and unleashed several glowing bolts at the target obscured in the dust. Once the dust cleared he saw that her target was a tall, purple alien that looked as though it saw better days. He was disappointed that it wasn't Zim, but doing something was nice.

"Hey! Kid, get out of here!" someone yelled. Dib turned to see a tall, African-American cyborg being beat down by another alien, identical to the one that the girl was fighting.

"COOL!" Dib yelled and jumped up into a tree to avoid getting smashed. "I was saving this for Zim, but I'm ready to do anything at this point," he muttered and pulled out several small round balls that he had invented to capture Zim. He threw them at the aliens when they weren't too close to the people they were fighting and a large spurt of foam came out and caught them in a sticky mess.

"Neat," Robin said under his breath as he came down from his own perch in a different tree.

"Awesome, they worked! Wow, something I made didn't blow up in my face!" Dib cheered. "Great, now Zim has to do something," he sighed as he jumped down from the tree.

Beast Boy and Raven appeared next to the other three and looked at the odd boy. "Who are you?" Robin asked. "And how do you know Zim?"

"You know Zim?" Dib asked. "Huh," he shrugged. "Well, I'm Dib. I kind of try and make sure that Zim doesn't actually end up taking over the world. Are you trying to defeat him as well, or what?"

"We're the Teen Titans," Robin explained. "And no. Actually, he's kind of helped us before."

"Help?" Dib asked unbelievingly.

"It wasn't intentional," Robin assured him. "In any case, he's been claiming that he was going to destroy the Vertians," Robin pointed at the aliens at Dib's feet, "so he could take over the world."

"Yeup, sounds like him. So that's what he's been up to," Dib stroked his chin. "Well, have you seen him lately?"

"No, we haven't," Robin replied. "Actually, he's mentioned you a few times. Have you seen him?"

"Can't say I have," Dib frowned. "Ever since skool let out, he's been in his house. I kinda figured he was plotting something… or something. I don't know."

"What do you do?" Raven asked.

Dib puffed out his chest proudly. "I'm a paranormal investigator," he said happily.

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Like, ghosts, aliens, demons…"

"Yeah, pretty much," Dib laughed. "Only now… well, now it's more all about Zim. Fighting him, keeping him from taking over the world, making sure he doesn't crash into the lake and pissing him off because I saved him," Dib smiled at the memory. "That was awesome," he chuckled. "I used to be totally obsessed with proving he was an alien, and the existence of any other paranormal things I could find, but now it's just about messing around with Zim. I don't know, it's more comfortable that way. We both have our niches, and it's just kind of the way things worked out."

"You mean you're not trying to capture him anymore?" Robin asked. "Why not?"

Dib frowned. "I found out some… stuff," he murmured giving them a non-committal shrug. "He…" Dib sighed. "Okay, this sounds totally weird, even to me, but he doesn't deserve it. Besides, I get really bored without him around to blow stuff up. This town is made of annoying and stupid, and no one ever does anything."

Beast Boy laughed. "The people here don't seem very observant. Normally there are like… ten police cars around us after an explosion like that."

"Exactly my point," Dib said dryly. "I still collect paranormal stuff, but I don't try and oust Zim anymore. It's not worth it."

"Do you know where he lives?" Robin asked.

Dib nodded, "Sure do. Most obvious house in town. It's _green,_ but you know, God forbid if anyone else noticed it."

Cyborg chuckled, "Frustrating?"

"You have no idea," Dib muttered as he rolled his eyes. "It's nice to finally meet someone aside from my terrifying sister who believes that Zim is an alien."

"How could you not notice?" Raven asked, disbelievingly.

"I KNOW!" Dib sighed and laced his fingers behind his head. "But no one else notices it. Not that it matters anymore, I guess. You think he's bad now? Believe it or not, he's somewhat mellowed over the past four years."

"Really?" Starfire asked.

"Mmhm," Dib muttered. "Soooo… can I ask why you guys are floating, glowing, green and dressed like that?"

"Your investigating skills amaze me," Raven muttered.

Dib narrowed his eyes at Raven but Robin shook his head to dismiss the comment. "Sure, we'll explain but you can't print it or anything."

"Nah, I got over that stage a year ago," Dib laughed. "Come on, Zim's house is this way."

A few minutes later, Dib stood in front of Zim's now normal looking, pale blue house and frowned. "Huh… he must have done some re-decorating. That's weird," he murmured to himself and looked up at the door puzzled. Dib shrugged then knocked on the door.

A boy, about the same height as Zim opened the door. He had blue eyes and black hair and was wearing black jeans and a t-shirt. Dib had to do a double take to make sure that there was a Pak on his back before he could convince himself that it was really Zim. "Huh?" he asked.

"Yes?" Zim asked. "Who are you?"

Everyone stood still for a long moment before Gir ran out of the house. "Big headed kid! Master's not normal!" he sobbed and stood behind Dib.

"What do you mean, who am I?" Dib asked, ignoring Gir. "I've been your arch nemesis for four years. Zim, come on! What's going on here? Your disguise is actually… good."

"How did you know my name…" Zim asked suspiciously in a quiet voice.

"Because I know you!" Dib yelled. "I've known you for four years! What happened, did you loose your memory or something?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Zim said in a tone that could almost be considered polite. "Now, if you'll excuse me," he said, starting to shut the door.

Dib stuck his foot in the door to keep Zim from closing it. "Zim, I know what you are. You are an alien Irken defect, you are bent on taking over the world but could never actually hope to do so because your attention span is about two seconds long, you have your two robot minions, Gir and Minimoose and you are at least three of 'earth's' years older then me even though you pretend to be 16."

Zim opened the door and glared at Dib. "Who are you?" he snarled. Gir whimpered and edged behind Dib's legs.

"Who am I?" Dib yelled. "What happened to you Zim? Why aren't you ranting or something?"

Zim pressed a button on his Pak and his holographic disguise disappeared to reveal his Irken form. Dib recoiled when he saw Zim's cold, bottomless eyes. "What did they do to you?" he asked softly.

"They?" Robin asked, puzzled.

"Get out of the way!" Raven yelled and transported everyone away from the doorstep as Zim launched a beam from his spider legs.

Dib blinked when he realized he was in a different part of the yard, looking at Zim from the side. He growled and pulled out two of his foam bursting pellets. "Leave this to me, I've fought him before and I know how to get him."

"All right," Cyborg said softly. "But be careful, something happened…"

"Memory erased…" Dib hissed. "His leaders probably did this."

"His leaders?" Starfire asked, obviously shocked.

"I'll explain later," Dib said hurriedly and jumped at Zim before he could attack anyone else.

"How did you know that I was an alien?" Zim hissed as Dib tried to trip up one of his spider legs.

"Well, since the theory that your memories are erased apparently hasn't occurred to you," Dib countered, "I am a paranormal investigator and this is my job."

Zim snarled and tried to stab Dib with his weapons, but Dib was too used to this situation and had long since learned how to dodge. Whenever Zim was supported by all four spider legs, all he had to do was go towards the opposite leg that Zim was attacking him with. That way it would throw Zim off balance.

When Zim did just that, Dib threw his invention below Zim and watched as the alien's legs got caught up in the sticky foam. Zim toppled over and landed face first into the mess. Dib pulled a small tazer out of his back pocket and walked towards the seething Zim. "For what it's worth, sorry," he said quietly and put the live end to Zim's Pak, knocking him offline and into unconsciousness.

"Mastah!" Gir yelled and ran over to where his master lay, still. "That was bad, big headed human!" Gir yelled, almost angrily.

"Am I being lectured by Zim's insane robot?" Dib asked, raising an eyebrow as he pulled out a solution he created to melt away the foam in case one exploded in his pocket.

"So it would appear," Raven said slowly.

"What's wrong with him?" Beast Boy asked.

Dib sighed as he poured the solution into a handkerchief and started to wipe the foam off from around Zim's body, trying his best not to make contact with Zim's sensitive skin. "I don't know," Dib sighed. "But I…" Dib frowned. "Well, there's one pretty big reason that I decided that I didn't want to capture Zim anymore," he started as he pulled Zim out of the mess he created.

Zim's mechanical legs retracted into his Pak, but the short Irken remained still. "Mastah…" Gir said softly.

"Don't worry Gir," Dib said, feeling weird as he tried to assure the annoying robot. "I'll try and get him back to normal."

"You will?" Robin asked.

Dib shrugged. "Zim was an individual, he was different. His planet tried to take that away from him. He kind of deserves to get back his memories back," Dib said with a frown as he cradled Zim's body and stood up. "It's not fair that they can just take that away because he has a personality."

"Can you?" Gir asked. "Make master the way he was?"

"I can very well try," Dib sighed. "If I succeed though, he's going to be so pissed at me," Dib chuckled although it had no humor in it.

"How do you know that it was his leaders?" Cyborg asked.

"Because, about six months ago I found out that Zim's what's known as a 'defective' Irken. Of course, at first I thought that this meant he had something wrong with his personality or something wrong with his programming. But after I watched a few of his calls to his leaders, I realized something," Dib sighed as he carried Zim away from his house and began to walk down the street.

Just at that moment, a purple blur came out of Zim's house and began to squeak angrily at Dib. Dib blinked a few times before he realized that it was Minimoose who was yelling at him. "Calm down," he told the small creature. "I'm not planning to hurt him… er… more."

The small plush looking robot continued to yell at Dib in whatever language he spoke until Gir jumped on him and grinned. "Dibbie said he'd help master be the way he was," Gir said excitedly.

Everyone watched as Minimoose seemed to deflate and sink to the ground sadly. Starfire couldn't help herself, he was just too cute. She walked over and picked up Minimoose and hugged him. "It is all right, strange floating moose creature, your master is not a very nice person, but he needs help and we help people no matter what."

Minimoose squeaked once and floated out of Starfire's arms to nose Zim once before squeaking again and floating next to Gir. "He says 'okie dokie!'" Gir said, giving Dib the thumbs up.

The strange group continued to walk and float down the street. "Realized what?" Raven prompted Dib's explanation.

"Huh?" Dib asked. "Oh, right. Anyways, I realized that Zim was considered defective because he had a personality. And, to some degree he also has emotions. Obviously, he cares for Gir and Minimoose and he loves himself," Dib laughed. "But, this made him imperfect according to his society. At some point, I found transcripts of a trial that Zim was on. He was declared defective and they tried to… deactivate him, which I think means they tried to execute him. But somehow he wasn't and he just continued to live his life."

"How do you ignore something like that?" Beast Boy asked.

"I don't ever want to know how Zim's thought process goes," Dib sighed exasperatedly while rolling his eyes. "He's still totally loyal to the Irken empire too. I don't know why, but he is. Anyways, after I found all that out, I just didn't really… feel like trying to capture him anymore."

"I can… understand why," Robin admitted. "That's actually kind of sad."

"I know," Dib sighed. "Anyways, that's why things kind of have devolved the way they have. Besides, I'll take an incompetent Zim with a personality over a personality-less competent soldier Zim any day. I like it when I have a chance of defeating him."

Cyborg laughed. "You did a pretty good job today," he pointed out.

"Because I've fought him like that before. If that was a space ship battle, I have a bad feeling I would have lost," Dib sighed. "Where are we going?" he asked after awhile.

"Your house?" Raven suggested.

Dib looked at the unconscious Zim in his arms and bit his lower lip. "Actually, that might not be the best idea," he admitted. "My dad's home this weekend and he's a scientist. I'm not sure if he can fool himself that Zim's not an alien without his disguise."

Robin looked thoughtful. "Well, Titan's Tower is about a three hour ride from here. Think he'll stay out that long?" he asked, looking at Zim.

"Until I reactivate his Pak, he's out," Dib replied.

"You sure?" Cyborg asked Robin quietly.

"Yes," Robin said with a tiny grin. "We're the good guys, remember?"

Dib laughed a little. "Helping those that you don't like is kinda what being human is all about, isn't it?" he asked.

Robin nodded and smiled at Dib for the teen's sake. "At least you're human enough to do so," he told him.

* * *

When they began to land at Titan's Tower, Dib couldn't help it, he gawked. Sure he heard the vague news report about some kids helping to catch a bad guy but he never actually paid attention to it. As far as he was concerned, the media lied anyways, just one of several big conspiracy theories he was into. Although, lying media wasn't much of a theory anymore.

Cyborg noticed his open staring and laughed from his pilot chair of the plane. "Yeah, it's pretty cool, isn't it?" he asked.

"You live there?" Dib asked.

"Home sweet home," Beast Boy said happily. "Titan's Tower. Cyborg's got tons of tools and stuff and he makes the coolest things. Like the T-car."

"T-car? You made a car?" Dib asked, clearly impressed.

"I made the thing you're sitting in," Cyborg said with a grin. "I like making stuff."

"I make stuff if it has to do with countering Zim," Dib admitted. "Or if it has to do with paranormal science in general. I like that."

"We can tell," Raven pointed out in her bland voice.

* * *

Needless to say, the inside was even more impressive. Dib looked around with his mouth slightly open at the impressive 'dig' the Titans had. "Wow, you have all this?"

"Yeah, pretty sweet, huh?" Beast Boy asked. "The hero thing is pretty cool."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Look at me, I save the planet all the time and everyone thinks I'm insane and I'm saving my worst enemy."

"But look at all the ammo you'll have in your next banter," Cyborg pointed out. "Hey! I saved your life you know!"

Dib laughed and laid Zim gently on the couch where Minimoose and Gir immediately rushed to his side. "Point well taken," he told Cyborg. "I may even get that reaction in a few hours if all goes well."

"What do you need?" Robin asked.

Dib sighed and pulled a black laptop out of his backpack. "Right now, this," he said. "Zim's Pak is a computer, essentially. I need to see if I can't restore his memory somehow."

Beast Boy's ears dipped slightly. "Wait, you mean they actually erased his memory. Like a computer file?"

Dib nodded as he plugged his laptop into Zim's Pak. "Yeah. Probably. Hold on, let's boot up my computer and see what happened."

Everyone leaned over to see what was going on as Zim's computer booted up. There was a small smiley face icon that grinned with a caption that read 'please wait while we process your information.' Ten minutes later, the caption read the same and the smiley face seemed a little less happy and a little more annoying to the teens waiting for the computer. "I guess Paks take a while to process," Cyborg said slowly.

"Apparently," Raven replied dryly.

Finally the computer finished processing whatever it was trying to process and opened up onto the main screen. Dib opened a file and typed something into the DOS command, forcing the computer to accept Zim's connection. Another screen came up with coding on it that may have well been written in Japanese for 4/5ths of the Titans for all they could read. Cyborg however leaned over in interest. "Wow," he said slowly.

"I know. This is… damn," Dib said softly.

"Dude, it's a bunch of numbers, symbols and letters!" Beast Boy said exasperatedly. "You can't even read anything!"

Dib and Cyborg gave Beast Boy twin death glares and returned to the screen. "Think you can find what they did?" Cyborg asked.

Dib began to scroll through the coding and frowned. "Yeah, I think so. He narrowed his eyes and stared intently as he scrolled. Finally he yelled "AHA!" making all the Titans jump about a foot in the air. Dib looked at them guiltily and shrugged. "Sorry, I'm used to ranting at my self. Anyways," he glanced back at the screen and sighed. "Good news and bad news."

"Good news is you found the things you want, right?" Robin asked.

"Hey, you're pretty good," Dib said with a grin. "Yeah."

"And the bad news?" Starfire asked.

"It's encoded," Dib answered with a significant nod at the screen of gibberish. "Like, impossibly encoded. It may take me years to break it. I don't know," he said with a frown. "I thought I would have to restore his memories from a deleted file, not break them out of an encode."

"Can I try?" Cyborg asked.

"Can you read the Irken programming?" Dib asked dubiously.

"If you're there telling me what I need to know, sure," Cyborg replied. "Want to help?"

Dib handed the laptop over. "Be my guest," he said and pointed at the first line. "Okay, I'm not 100 sure, but this seems to be where it begins."

"Right," Cyborg said and began to type. The rest of the Titans quickly disbanded to mull around while Dib and Cyborg worked together to get Zim back online.

About ten hours, several sodas, many curses, and a broken encode later, Zim's memories and personality files were unlocked and reintroduced into the Pak's programming. Dib unhooked the computer from Zim's Pak and sighed. "All that's left is rebooting his Pak, I guess," he said quietly.

"What's wrong?" Cyborg asked.

"Zim… well. He can't ignore it anymore, can he?" Dib asked. "He's going to be upset, that's for sure."

"Well, at least they didn't completely deactivate him. That counts for something," Robin replied, handing Dib a cup of coffee, which the teen took gratefully.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Dib admitted while sipping on the hot liquid. "All right," he said and tapped the top most dot on Zim's pack. It glowed red and Dib scooted back on the couch.

"Re-booting complete," it said and blinked once. Again, Zim's Pak sent out the electric shock and jolted the poor Irken's body back into life once more.

* * *

Bleh, I don't know what to say about this chapter. It was needed for the character development but...I wanna go back to teh funny. Wah. I promise it'll get humorous soon, I WANT to write the humor. It's more fun to write Zim as his ranting, insane self and make up words for no reason.

Also, I hate the way the fight scene came out >. hate hate hate. However, after letting it sit on my desktop for DAYS I just couldn't change it. I may try later but I figured... better to have one crappy fight scene then give up on the fic and not update anymore. Ah well. And, yes, Dib invents things, because lord knows he's smart enough too. I mean, if the kid can magically use alien technology, he sure as hell can make weapons to fight Zim with. (I want his little inviso stealth suit he had in Zim Eats Waffles, god the pranks I could play with that thing.)

Anyways, hope you liked this chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Gir and Minimoose wandered over cautiously as Zim groaned into the pillow that he was lying on. "Ow," he said softly. "What the…" 

"Mastah's NORMAL!" Gir squealed and jumped onto Zim's back, keeping him pinned on the couch. Minimoose squeaked and lay down on Zim's head in his own version of the painful hug that Gir was giving Zim.

"Hey!" Zim barked. "Unhand your master! Gir, seriously, that HU…" Zim's protests were cut off as Gir squeezed even tighter.

"You okay?" Dib asked the half-suffocated alien with a small grin.

Zim pushed himself up and pushed Gir off himself. Gir squealed happily and began to run around the room with no particular destination. Minimoose opted to stay on Zim's head until he was pushed off. "Ow," Zim winced. "I'm…fine…" he said slowly as the most recent of his memories finally were uploaded.

Dib saw Zim's face fall and he bit his lower lip. "I thought about deleting those memories but… I figured…"

"No," Zim said quietly. "I would have restored them by default anyways and then I would have come after you for messing around with my Pak." Zim turned to Dib, "Which you did anyways, stink-face."

Dib sighed. "I knew it! I knew you would hate me for this."

"I hate you ANYWAYS, huuuu-man!" Zim snapped. "Why did you do it! My Tallest wanted my Pak like that!"

"You're upset? Because he helped you?" Cyborg asked disbelievingly.

Dib shook his head in a silent gesture to the Titans that they were to stay out of the conversation. "I know, but you were actually competent! I did it because it's easier to keep you from taking over the world when you have a personality," Dib said with a half hearted, evil grin that he knew fooled nobody in the room, least of all Zim.

"Dib," Zim hissed dangerously. "You know what MY society is like. I know you hate me, but why bother to reactivate me if I was offline. What do YOU, you pathetic stupid worm-dirt-child, want?"

Dib sighed and pointed at Gir who was now sitting next to Zim on the couch and grinning in his own stupid way. "Zim, they want you. I honestly don't care. But you have Gir and you have Minimoose and they want you as you are. Since they're the ones who have to live with you, I figure they are the ones who deserve to make the choice."

"WHAT ABOUT MY CHOICE!" Zim yelled, startling everyone in the room. He was seething in a way Dib had never seen before. He knew Zim would be upset but he didn't realize how upset.

"Master…" Gir said softly.

"Dib-monkey-breath, I am an Irken. I am an incredibly SUPERIOR alien who wants to take over this pathetic spinning dirt ball you call a planet and destroy it for the sake of my empire. I am not, and I will never BE a GOOD PERSON, regardless of what you may think. My Tallest did what they did for a reason and it is not my place to question their ultimate decision," Zim hissed, tightening his hands into fists. His antennae were flat against his skull and even Gir realized just how upset Zim really was.

"I thought you were superior," Dib said in an equally quiet, slightly teasing voice.

"I AM superior!" Zim proclaimed, regaining a little of his spark. "Of course I am. But my Pak tells me to obey everything the Tallest order me to do."

"So, you're still loyal, even after they took away the only thing that made you… you?" Dib asked.

"Don't be coy, worm-brat," Zim snapped. "You know and I know that my personality was the reason I was named defective in the first place."

Dib raised an eyebrow. "I thought your ego kept you from seeing that you were a defective," he said, slightly surprised at Zim's insight.

"Dib, I'm not stuuuuupid," Zim sneered. "My Tallest just took away my personality after they tried to deactivate me. As much as I'd honestly LOVE to ignore that, I can't."

"You didn't answer my question," Dib said.

"What question?" Zim asked.

"Are you, or are you not still loyal?" Dib replied.

Zim gritted his teeth and clenched his fists before replying. "Yes," he said dully.

Dib frowned, "Zim…"

"I can't help it," Zim continued. "It's part of me, to obey. It's part of every Irken. I am loyal, but I'll be dammed if I report to My Tallest any time soon," Zim finished.

"Are you upset that we undid what the Tallest did?" Dib asked. "I mean… did you want…" he trailed off.

Zim looked at the floor and brought his knees up to his chest then wrapped his arms around them. Zim was very vulnerable at the moment and this action only proved the point. Zim, who ran on ego and an uncanny ability to ignore everything that he didn't want to see was confronted with something he couldn't ignore. He wasn't wanted as 'Zim' by his leaders. He was preferably wanted dead, and if not, just another soldier. Another number that could be ordered and expected not to mess up. Another, one of millions. No more, no less then that.

Everyone watched the quiet Irken intensely. You could almost taste the tension in the air as he mulled over his thoughts, coming to grips with his new, darker, reality. "I…" he finally started. "I want to be like this," he finally admitted, as if it was a bad thing. "I want my personality and my memories. I like being like this," he said softly, his antennae drooping. "I want to be Zim."

"Good," Dib said with a smile. "Believe it or not, I prefer you as Zim."

"Mastah's back!" Gir announced once again and leaned against Zim. "Yey," he said happily and stuck his tongue out at the corner of his mouth.

"All right," Zim said with a big sigh. "I'm done being unhappy," he announced. "I ZIM! Will now go home and begin to plot again. The Vertians can't take over this miserable planet while ZIIIIIM is here!"

"You're still going to help us?" Robin asked, surprised. "I thought you said that you were still a bad guy."

Zim gave Robin his best maniacal grin. "Of course bird-huuuuuman," he said annoyingly. "I AM a bad guy. I am an EVIL and POWERFUL Irken warrior that WILL continue to take over this pathetic little dirt ball you weak, inferior humans like to call 'home.' But, in order to do so, I must FIRST defeat the Vertians."

"You're still going to try to take over Earth?" Beast Boy asked. "Why?"

"Because it's fun," Zim replied haughtily. "And now ZIM will take over this planet on HIS own whims! The radioactive pants command it!" he laughed.

"Glad to see you can get over a life scarring moment in about ten minutes," Dib said with a small laugh as he stood up.

Zim's antennae raised slightly as Dib said this. One raised above the other as if he was raising an 'eyebrow' expression with his antennae. "What is the point of being unhappy when you can just ignore it and go about blowing stuff up?"

"Why indeed?" Dib asked quietly as he finished off his coffee.

"See, this is why I don't like EMOTIONS," Zim spat. "I don't like feeling bad. So, ignore it and move on," Zim said with a grin. "Now, I'm going home."

"We're about 200 miles away from our town," Dib said with a tiny grin as he filled his cup with coffee again.

Zim growled. "Fine, I'll just call the Voot and it'll be here in an hour or so," he sniffed. "Because…"

Dib cut him off. "Your SUPERIOR Irken technology is SO MUCH BETTER and therefore we must FEAR how incredibly AWESOME it IS!" he mocked, even copying Zim's speech patterns.

The rest of the Titans were highly amused and even Raven had to hide a smile as Zim turned several shades of green darker as he glared at Dib. "Shut your noise hole you smelly, big headed, jerk face!" he snapped.

"Actually," Robin said quickly, cutting in before Zim could pull out his gun. "It may be a better idea if you stayed here for a bit while we fight the Vertians."

"Why?" Zim asked.

"In case you actually end up getting caught, we're nearby. Don't forget, they want to capture you too and as good a fighter as you may be I don't think you can take on several hundred soldiers," Robin pointed out.

Zim crossed his arms. "Pfft, of course I could bird-human. You underestimate the AWESOMENESS…NESS that is I, ZIIIM!"

"While keeping Gir from getting himself blown up by the enemy?" Dib asked calmly as he sipped his coffee.

Zim blinked and glanced at his robot. "Well… I'd leave him at home," Zim offered.

"And he'd stay?" Dib asked.

"Nope!" Gir said proudly.

Zim sighed and glared at Dib crossly. "I don't need help, stink-head," he sniffed. "Least of all from you."

"I'm not offering it," Dib replied. "And I don't think they are either. I think it's more of a 'let's make sure our goal is reached' kind of deal."

"Yes, well…" Zim tried to think of something to refute that logic but nothing would come to mind. "What if I said I don't wanna," he finally stated, realizing too late that he sounded like a four year old.

Robin suppressed a smile. "We're not forcing you," he replied diplomatically. "We're offering. Besides, going to your town makes things difficult. This would help us more in the end."

Zim grinned, "So, you selfish human needs finally come out, eh, bird-human?"

"Oh yes," Robin replied.

Zim shrugged. "Fine, as long as I have equipment to make repairs and such."

"Then call your Voot," Dib offered. "It's like a mini home isn't it?"

"I already did," Zim said, rolling his eyes as if Dib was the dumbest thing he had ever come across. "I'm going to go out for a bit," he said finally. "I need to… be alone. Minimoose, Gir, stay here and dock the Voot when it arrives."

"Yes master!" Gir said in a gruff voice, saluting Zim while Minimoose squeaked.

Without another word, Zim left to go sort out his remaining thoughts.

After he was gone Dib toasted Robin with his coffee mug. "You picked up on how to deal with him quickly," he lauded.

Robin laughed. "Its like reverse psychology with a twist. Tell him what he wants to hear while making it seem like it's his idea. Difficult but doable."

Dib nodded. "I think he agreed so easily for another reason though."

"Another reason?" Starfire asked.

"I don't think he wants to go back quite yet," Dib said slowly. "In his home he has things that would probably remind him of Irk, of being a soldier and what his duties are. I honestly think the last thing he wants right now is to be reminded of what he is supposed to be."

"That makes sense," Cyborg said softly. "He probably also doesn't want to get caught by anyone else with his Pak back to normal."

"Mmhm," Dib agreed as he polished off his second cup of coffee. "I can't say I blame him though. If his leaders called he would be screwed. They would either try and outright kill him or suppress his memories and personality again. Either way, either outcome, Zim would be… unhappy to say the least."

"Why are we working so hard for someone who has told us that he doesn't like us and would just as soon kill us off?" Raven asked quietly.

Everyone was silent for a minute but Dib found his answer to come rather easily. "Because he's different," he said. "He's unique, a different person, not a good one but that's beside the point. As opposed to the rest of his race, Zim is himself. He does what he wants, how he wants and I think the fact that he is willing to go against what on his planet must be millions of years of rules and conforming makes it worth it to make sure that he somehow survives. It's almost a way to show the Irkens that 'hey, you can be different, it's allowed.'"

Starfire smiled and floated by the window to watch the sun set. "I like those reasons," she said happily. "I like to think that even though the race is terrible, there is something in it that allows for individuality."

"Nothing can be pure evil," Raven said quietly. "Just like nothing can be pure good."

"Exactly," Dib agreed. "Although if Zim heard this conversation he would have probably tired to shoot me about three minutes ago."

Robin laughed. "Oh well, at least we have our answers."

"I'm confused," Beast Boy admitted. "But… oh well."

"Think about it," Cyborg offered.

"He can think?" Raven asked sarcastically.

Robin, Dib, Starfire and Cyborg all chuckled at Beast Boy's expense while the green Titan seethed a little at the quip.

* * *

Later, after everyone had finally crashed into bed Zim walked into the Tower and looked around, sneering. If it had been any other time, he would have probably tried to blow up the place rather then stay with a bunch of humans and a Tameranian. However, given the circumstances, he wasn't ready to go home quite yet. His house was filled with Irken symbols, propaganda, messages and everything he didn't want to confront just then.

His home was his home but in the end it was just another product of the Irken empire. As was his Voot and as was, technically, Gir. However, these latter items were also Zim's own. Gir was his own 'special' robot and he was next to certain that no other quite like him existed in the Irken force. And he had remade his ship so much that it could be said that it was also his own. His Voot was made, and repaired by him as he saw fit. His house, while designed by him just didn't feel very inviting to Zim at the moment. And well, who could blame him?

Zim growled and rubbed his antennae irritably. He didn't like admitting that he had emotions, much less have to deal with them. At the moment he felt confused, hurt and betrayed and in his world it would have been so much easier if he could have just abandoned his emotions. He knew that was impossible though, and that in order to do that he would have to give up what was just given back to him. He already admitted that he wanted to be Zim.

Why not be Zim? Zim was obviously so much more superior and awesome then everyone else. He could be whom he wanted, act how he wanted and live what he wanted because he was himself and in the end that was probably what he wanted. He was Zim and that was damn well good enough for him and to hell with what anyone else thought.

Zim grinned in the darkness and pulled out a small handheld he had retrieved from the badly parked Voot outside. It had enough programming so he could continue his bomb as well as monitor the Vertian activity above him without getting caught.

Zim reveled in the feeling that spying on the enemy in the dark gave him. The night was his time. Every other pathetic human was forced to give into their biological demand for sleep and nourishment while he was free to stay up all night and plot. He didn't need food or sleep; he was the prime example of a superior Irken. It was just as well because he was allergic to practically every food on the smelly planet of earth and his lack of need for sleep gave him an edge on many people, namely Dib.

The night was his, quiet as you please with no one to bother him. Even Gir and Minimoose slept at night. Why? Their reasons for doing so were beyond Zim. As far as he knew, robots didn't need to sleep, but then again, robots didn't need to eat and Gir probably ate enough tacos in a month to sustain small third world countries. One reason Zim liked the nighttime so much was that there WAS no Gir or Minimoose to bother him. He could do what he damn well pleased without needing to worry about his wayward robots and what they were up to. Not that he cared that much. Really.

Zim smiled as he settled into the task of programming. It was a small escape from reality, but a welcome one. As far as he was concerned, he was over what the Tallest did to him and he was ready to move forward. Because that's what being an Irken was all about.

Zim looked up and stared out the window with a rare, thoughtful expression on his face. It quickly melted away into a maniacal grin as he continued to program the bomb. No, he thought, it was what being ZIM was all about.

* * *

I hope I'm not doing something horribly wrong here XD it's just that I got like... 10 reviews for the first 2 chapters then 4 for the next two. If I'm doing something you don't like, feel free to tell me and I'll see what I can do.

Anyways, here's Zim, getting over it. Yeah, he got over it fairly quickly. He starts annoying people in the next chapter. Next parts will be filler so I can start laughing again. Hope you liked it


	6. Chapter 6

Dib woke up the next morning tired and sore from sitting on the couch for 10 hours fixing Zim. Some coffee was in order, he thought and rolled out of bed that was in the spare room that the Titans had let him sleep in. He grumbled as he walked out of the room and stumbled out into the hall. He was still in the clothes he had worn the day before and his hair was sticking up more then usual. The lock of hair that swooped back was now impossible to see because his bangs were sticking up and the back of his hair was sticking out. He also couldn't see very well because his glasses were in his hand. 

With a yawn and a dark glare at the wall that dared to get in his way as he walked down the hall Dib prepared to make the too long trek to the coffee pot. He walked out into the main hall and could see the pot as the doors slid open. Dib smiled slightly and got ready to make his way over to it when…

"Boo!" Zim yelled, appearing in Dib's line of vision upside down with a horrible grin on his face. He was clinging to the doorway with his spider legs and holding himself low enough so that he was face to face with Dib.

Dib's tired brown eyes widened as his body jolted awake at the sight of his worst enemy. "YAH!" he yelled and jumped about a foot into the air, away from Zim's maniacal grin. He slammed into the nearest wall and put his hand on it for support while he held his other hand to his chest.

Zim began to cackle loudly as he climbed up the wall and onto the ceiling, out of Dib's reach. Dib could hear soft sniggering coming from in the room he was trying to enter and he would have bet anything it was Cyborg and Beast Boy. "What are you, FIVE?" Dib yelled irritably as he walked into the room and glared at Zim.

Zim continued to laugh as he clung to the ceiling. "NO Dib-stink-worm!" Zim yelled. "I'm actually 19 of your years! I am also VICTORIOUS!" he yelled.

"At what? Annoying me?" Dib yelled back as he crossed the room to get to the coffee pot.

"Yeah," Zim replied in a 'well duh' kind of voice. "What's the point of being under the same roof as your worst enemy if you can't annoy them?"

Dib replied under his breath so that no one could hear him, not even Zim. However, it didn't take much imagination to figure out what he probably said. Zim grinned wickedly and dropped lightly from the ceiling onto the floor, landing cat like before Gir squealed loudly and ran into Zim, knocking him over.

Dib smiled and toasted Zim with his now full coffee cup. "Cheers!" he said happily to the grumbling Zim on the floor.

"Shut your gaping noise tube you smelly headed dirt worm," Zim snapped as Gir squealed incoherent babble into Zim's ear.

Dib rolled his eyes and took a healthy quaff of his morning beverage. "Whatever," he muttered.

"Get off me Gir," Zim hissed and pushed his overly affectionate robot off of his chest. Gir cheered as he rolled off Zim and began to roll on the floor singing the 'Doom Song'.

"Morning," Cyborg greeted the slightly more alert Dib.

Dib yawned and put on his glasses. "Yeah, morning," he replied. "Oh man, I don't want to sit still for another ten hours any time soon," he groaned as he stretched his arms above his head.

"Stiff muscles?" Cyborg asked.

Dib nodded and took another drink. "Yeah, my back hurts the worst," he said, twisting his back and wincing.

"That's because your inferior biology doesn't allow for you to be productive without massive amounts of rest and energy," Zim said haughtily with a smirk. "It's just your weak body telling you that you are pathetic and…" Zim's antennae twitched as he tried to think of another synonym but found his translation program coming up short. "Weak…" he finished offhandedly.

"Hey, I'm in pain because I saved you!" Dib replied coyly.

"And I never recall asking for your help, huuuu-man!" Zim shot back while crossing his arms and sticking his figurative 'nose' in the air.

"I did it because I knew it would piss you off," Dib countered while taking another sip of his coffee. "How does it feel to be in debt to your worst enemy, ZIM," Dib said with a grin that matched Zim's own.

Zim glared at him then walked over to the couch to pick up his portable handheld. "I won't be in debt for long, monkey-brains," he said sneakily. "You better be really sure of yourself on the battlefield of DOOM once we start fighting for real. Because if you're not, your pathetic little life will be extinguished like crazy rubber balloons on a hot day."

"Once again you make no sense!" Dib said with a grin. "But that's okay. I'm sure your superior technology isn't at fault for your weird speech patterns."

Zim gave Dib a glare that could kill kittens and walked out the door without retorting. Presumably, he wanted to work on his 'secret' whatever it was alone. Which was all fine and dandy with Dib. He wasn't one for talking with Zim any longer then he absolutely had to.

He downed the rest of his needed dose of caffeine and winced as he rubbed his stiff arm muscles. Raven looked up from the book she was reading and raised an eyebrow. "Sore muscles?" she asked.

Dib nodded, "Yeah. My arms and my back really hurt," he said with a hiss as the tried to work the knots out of his back.

Raven sighed and shut her book. "Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself," she told him pointedly.

Dib stopped kneading his back and looked at her. "Well?" he asked.

"I know some stretches that should help," Raven offered in an offhanded voice. "Want me to teach them to you?"

Dib looked at his coffee cup and realized that he did not have enough caffeine coursing through his veins. "Ummm… give me two more cups of coffee, then yes, I'd like that."

Raven nodded and returned to her book. Dib sighed and poured himself another cup of coffee and sipped it. "I can't believe I'm actually going out of my way to help Zim," he said while shaking his head. "I mean, I totally hate his guts but somehow it just seems like the right thing to do. I know what I said last night about him being an individual and all, but he's still a complete asshole."

"Do you make a habit out of talking to yourself?" Raven asked without looking up from her book.

"Yes, yes I do," Dib replied and gulped down more coffee. "Usually people aren't around to overhear me though," he said with a coy grin before he polished off his second cup.

Raven rolled her eyes and continued to read while Cyborg and Beast Boy both hid laughter.

Robin and Starfire chose that time to come into the tower and looked around at the early morning scene. "Does Zim usually make a habit of sitting on top of airplane lights and using his handheld?" Robin asked curiously.

Dib snorted into his newly poured cup of coffee as the image came easily to his mind. He coughed a little and looked up at Robin. "Not that I know of," he replied, clearly amused. "However, my guess is that he wanted to get as far away from the 'filthy humans' as he possibly could."

The corner of Robin's lip curved upwards in a tiny smile. "Ah," he replied. "That sounds about right."

Dib shrugged and gave a short laugh. "Well, Zim is Zim I guess. He won't change, or at least, not for another… four hundred years or so," Dib laughed. "And this is almost tame too. I'm surprised nothing hasn't blown up yet."

"Well… the blowing up of anything would be particularly bad," Starfire said slowly. "However, is the fact that Zim is by himself not concerning anyone else?"

"Zim can take care of himself," Dib said kindly. "What's more is that he would probably be insulted by your concern. So, to be honest, I wouldn't even bother."

Starfire sighed. "I do not like the Irken race," she admitted. She paused and crossed her legs in mid air as if she was trying to think of what to say next. "But, after the conversation we had last night about individuality, I decided that perhaps it was all right to…" she frowned searching for a word that didn't include 'like' or 'friend' as she knew that was impossible.

"Accept him?" Dib offered. "Yeah, it's hard. You can't exactly like him, or call him your friend but really, what anyone wants is to be accepted. Zim is different, he has a place here, I guess. As long as he doesn't actually end up taking over the world, everything should turn out fine."

Starfire nodded. "It is in my nature to try and make friends of the people I wish to help. But, I do not think this will happen, will it?"

"Nope," Dib replied bluntly. "But that's okay. Gir and Minimoose will appreciate your efforts," he said honestly. "If you can get them to understand your efforts that is."

Starfire laughed. "Speaking of friends, are we friends Dib?" she asked suddenly.

Dib blinked. "I…guess?" he offered.

"Yay, new friend Dib!" Starfire cheered and gave Dib a hug that left the boy clutching his coffee cup and looking very confused as Starfire flew away.

"She likes openly declaring friendship," Robin explained. "It's just her way of greeting someone new, kind of."

"Ah," Dib said and drained his third cup of coffee. "Well, it's nice to have a friend," he admitted. "At least I'm not the crazy person anymore."

"No more crazy then the alien sitting on the top of the tower," Robin pointed out. "I'm going down below to monitor transmissions from our atmosphere to see if I can find anything out. Want to come?"

Dib shook his head. "Raven offered to help me stretch out first. I'm a little sore from sitting still for ten hours yesterday."

"All right," Robin replied with a smile. "Cyborg, Beast Boy, I want you two to come and help if I need it."

"Coming!" Beast Boy said as he finished off his tofu eggs and bacon.

"I still can't believe you eat that stuff," Cyborg said as they walked out of the main room.

"Dude, its just tofu! It tastes like the real thing!" Beast Boy replied in a scandalized voice.

"Have you ever had the real thing?" Cyborg asked.

"No…" Beast Boy admitted slowly. "Have you ever had tofu?" he asked.

"No," Cyborg replied shortly. "But still…" his argument faded off as they disappeared down the stairs.

"Ready?" Raven asked from Dib's elbow, making the teen jump.

"Uhhh, yeah, sure," Dib said nervously. Raven was quiet and seemingly angry almost all the time so he wanted to step lightly when he was with her.

Raven sat down and took a deep breath. "Okay, first, cross your legs and take several deep breaths to relax your body," she instructed.

Dib sat clumsily down and did just as he was told. When he looked up he saw Gir sitting next to him, giggling. "Can I dooo iiit?" the robot asked.

Dib laughed. "Sure," he said and nodded to Raven, relaxing a little more as the girl almost, but not quite smiled.

"All right, this first stretch helps to loosen the back muscles and your quads," she said as she leaned forward.

Dib awkwardly tried to mimic her while Gir just flattened himself. Robots were well known for their dexterity from lack of muscle.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zim typed furiously on his handheld as he glanced up at the sky. He narrowed one eye and gazed at a cloud for a second before returning to his programming. He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, wincing at the sudden sting in his lung-like organs. It had become very humid over the past few hours and he could tell from past experience that it was going to rain very soon. He would have to return to the shelter of the tower soon if he didn't want to get wet.

Zim hissed in displeasure as he thought about this. If only he had taken his paste bath earlier! "Stupid FILTHY huuuuumanssss…" he hissed under his breath as the humidity slowly became more and more unbearable. "How can they think that I will stay here without planning something?" he asked himself. "They're stupid ideals of TRUST and HOPE will be their downfall," he said with a smirk. He held a stylus over the handheld and frowned. "I don't understand," he admitted quietly. "Oh well," he concluded. "It's their fault."

Everything was silent for about ten minutes until he couldn't stand it any longer. The heavy air was condensing on his skin and making it hiss as it reacted to the water molecules. He entertained the thought of going to his Voot but decided against it because he did not know how… waterproof it would be if a violent storm were to come. It was a vacuum sealed object when it came to space but it recycled air, so if it were to recycle air during a storm, worst case scenario would be that it would take in the humid air and then trap him inside the Voot with it. Zim shivered at the idea as he went inside the tower. No, that would not be a very good idea.

Giving one more death glare to the sky for good measure, Zim jumped off his perch and walked into the shelter of the Tower before it began to pour outside. Zim took in a deep breath and regretted not taking a paste bath earlier. Then again, it wasn't exactly his fault that his civilization decided that it would be better if he was turned into a drone. He glared at the door and went downstairs to an empty living room.

Zim looked around, trying to make heads or tails of what happened, then decided that it wasn't really wasn't worth his trouble. He walked over to the half circular couch and flopped down into it to continue work on his matter destroyer bomb.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, here you have it. The next part of the story. Things will be light for a few chapters before I dive back into the thick of it. Hee, Zim, he's such a little kid. Anywho, thanks so much for the reviews! They make me feel very happy inside.

Oh and, I'm not sure if Gaz will appear in this fic, but Tak should be showing up shortly. After this arc, at least. So, heads up for that. AND the scene where Zim is yelling 'boo' at Dib has been illistrated. It's at DeviantArt by the pen name 'NekoSalosa' if you want to see it.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Edit: Oh and, forgot to say: if, you ever need anything explained or if you have a question, go ahead and ask it in your review or PM me. Chances are I'll either answer you in the author's notes or PM you back. Just in case anyone is confused.


	7. Chapter 7

Half an hour later Dib came into the room and looked around until he saw Zim's antennae sticking up over the couch. "Haven't waterproofed lately?" he asked in a joking tone. 

Zim growled warningly as a strong hint but Dib couldn't resist to pass it up.

"Waterproof?" Beast Boy asked as he came in after Dib.

"I figured you'd come inside," Dib said with a coy grin. "What with your death allergy to water and all."

"Make silence NOW!" Zim yelled loudly. All the other Titans stood stock still as Zim's somewhat explosive temper came into play while Dib continued to stand there, grinning.

"Chill, Zim," Dib said with a laugh. "At least you're not stuck outside or anything."

"No," Zim replied hotly. "I'm stuck inside. Which is so much better," he finished with a sneer as he powered down his handheld.

"Allergy?" Robin asked.

Zim glared at Robin, then shrugged. "Yes," he said finally. "I am highly allergic to the substance on this planet known as H2O. It causes a chemical reaction in my skin and burns it off."

"Ouch," Cyborg offered.

Zim shot him a withering glare. "I am not so weak that I can't handle the pain," he sneered.

"No, you just writhe on the floor for the sport," Dib said with a laugh.

Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib. "Laugh now worm baby," he growled threateningly. "The time will come when I wear the almighty PANTS of victory!"

Dib shrugged and shook his head. "It's doesn't matter Zim. The rain will stop soon, you know it. Why are you so uptight?"

"Gee, I wonder," Zim snarled sarcastically.

"Never mind then," Dib replied dryly. He sighed and walked over to the couch and leaned on the back, looking over Zim's shoulder at the darkened screen of the handheld. He pointed at it and Dib gave him a questioning glance. "What's that?" Dib asked.

"A secret plan," Zim said nastily. "A program, but soon I will start to construct it. When it's finished it will rain DOOM and CHICKENS down on the enemy Vertians!"

"Chickens?" Dib asked.

"Yes," Zim answered. "Chickens."

"Interesting," Dib said slowly. "Is that literal?"

Zim thought for a second then shrugged. "I have no idea," he admitted.

Cyborg and Beast Boy both burst into fits of giggles at the mental image of chickens raining down from the sky. Starfire looked politely confused while Raven merely rolled her eyes and floated into a corner to meditate. Robin walked over and leaned over Zim's other shoulder to peer at the darkened handheld. "Are you going to show it to us?"

"You will see it when the Vertians see it," Zim told him. "I do not make a habit of showing INFERIOR filth like you my brilliant plots."

"You just yell your plans out in the middle of crowded streets," Dib told him with a smirk.

"SILENCE!" Zim roared. "I will have none of your… talk noise, stink face," he snapped at Dib.

Dib shrugged and decided that it was just best not to retaliate. His amusement had a limit, and he could only take so much of Zim's ranting before it got annoying.

Gir on the other hand, decided that he was going to take full advantage of being indoors by poking around every little nook and cranny. "Ooooo, lookit mastah! Lookit all this stuff!"

Zim turned around to see Gir in the kitchen area, playing around by the stove. He stood up and quickly walked over, making sure that Gir didn't get into anything he shouldn't. "Gir! Get away from that. You don't know how to work it!"

"Suuuure I dooooo…" Gir cooed. "It is a stove! I turn this and it gets REAL hot!"

Zim growled as he continued to walk towards Gir with Dib hovering nearby. "Gir, you can work the Irken technology in my house because it's linked to you. I repeat, you DON'T know HOW to use it!"

Gir turned around and grinned at Zim who was standing right behind him with his arms crossed. "Hiiii mastah!" Gir waved ecstatically at Zim, immediately forgetting what they were even arguing about.

Zim rolled his eyes. "Come on Gir, let's get you away from this area before you destroy something."

Gir grinned and nodded in his goofy way. "Okie dokie!" he said happily and waved.

"Good," Zim sighed and turned around, ready to lead Gir out of the kitchenette.

Gir looked around one last time and saw the spray hose by the sink. While Zim's back was still turned, he jumped up onto the sink and jimmied the lever into the 'on' position so that the water came out fairly fast. He ignored this however and reached for the spray nozzle and turned it around quickly in his hands. "Oooooohhh… what's this do?"

Dib quickly ran forward. "Uh, Gir, you should put that down. It's not a toy…"

Zim turned around to see his robot sitting on a sink, that was on, playing with some sort of part that he had never seen before. "Gir?" he asked.

"Zim… get away from there," Dib told him slowly.

Gir finally squeezed it and water began to gush out of the spray nozzle, all over the robot. Gir squealed and turned it away from himself, and right at Zim, who was standing in front of Gir, still looking puzzled.

Dib only had time to slap himself on the forehead before Zim was getting a face full of water and running around the kitchen, screaming loudly in pain.

"IT BURNS!" Zim yelled, throwing his arms above his head and running into the living room.

"Get Gir!" Robin yelled at Dib as he tried to run after the flailing Zim who was soaked through and appeared to be in quite a bit of pain.

"Oh dear," Starfire said softly as she tried to help Robin.

Cyborg went over to the kitchen to turn off the spurting water and Beast Boy helped Dib carry the still giggling Gir away from the water faucet and out of the vicinity of the kitchenette.

Meanwhile, Robin and Starfire were still chasing the smoking Zim around the living room.

"Zim, slow down!" Robin yelled. "We can get you dried off if you stop running."

"But it BURNS!" Zim yelled. "THE PAIN WON'T STOP!"

Dib came in carrying Gir who was laughing his fool robot butt off. "Of course it won't you moron! Your clothes are wet! You'll keep on burning as long as your uniform is wet!"

"Please, Irken Zim, we are only trying to help!" Starfire yelled.

"ZIM NEEDS NO HELP!" Zim managed to yell back even though he was in immense pain. Even if his skin was burning off, he could still defend his pride with as much energy as he always had.

Raven's eyebrow twitched at the mayhem going on around her. It was bad enough they had a homicidal jerk living with them, but now he was interrupting her precious meditation time. "Azarath… metrion… zinthos!" she muttered under her breath and a wall of her black energy appeared and reached from the floor to the ceiling, cutting the room in half.

Zim, in his pain filled flailing, didn't even notice the wall until he had run right into it.

Dib chuckled while Gir clapped as the excitement died down. "Yay! Master go boom!"

* * *

Zim sat sulkily on the couch, covered in a too big towel and glaring at anyone who dared to come within his sight distance. He had it so that the towel was draped over his head and around his body, so that only his face could be seen. He was no longer wet, but he was mad, that was for sure. 

Dib walked over and sat next to Zim. Zim gave him a death glare that he happily ignored. "Chill out Zim, your uniform will be dry in a half hour. All he did was spray you with water."

"And soaked me!" Zim growled. "This is humiliating."

Dib shrugged. "Your clothes are wet. Unless you want to wear wet clothes…" he trailed off.

"No thanks," Zim growled.

"Then be patient. I happen to know you are quite patient," Dib replied. "So, do us all a favor and stop looking like you're about to snap and kill everyone."

"What if I am?" Zim said with a nasty grin.

"If you were you would have tried already," Dib replied.

Zim had nothing to say to this so he merely shrugged and looked at Dib. "What do you mean you know I am patient?" he asked.

"You live with Gir, don't you?" Dib replied.

"Yes…" Zim answered slowly.

"And you haven't killed him yet," Dib pointed out.

"Ah," Zim replied. "Okay, point taken, I guess."

Dib looked around the room to see Robin nodding his approval of getting Zim to calm down. He nodded back and continued to scan the room. Beast Boy and Cyborg were playing video games and Raven was still meditating. He blinked as he realized that Starfire was missing. "Hey," he said slowly.

"Yes?" Robin asked.

"Where is Starfire?" Dib replied. "I haven't seen her since Raven put up the force field."

"She flew off to the mall," Robin replied. "She was saying something about having a 'wonderfully good idea' before she let."

"Any idea what it is?" Dib asked.

Robin shook his head. "I honestly have no clue," he said in reply. "Starfire's ideas usually are good unless they involve food."

"Bad cook?" Dib asked.

"By Earth's standards… yes," Robin replied delicately. "I have no idea how good or bad she is by Tameranian standards."

Zim snorted and drew the towel closer to himself.

"Still sulky?" Cyborg called over from his game.

"Yeup!" Dib replied.

"Shut up, inferior mortals," Zim muttered darkly.

Robin and Dib both laughed while Zim glared at them from his little cocoon. "Very sulky," Robin confirmed.

"Your time will come you pig smelly goo heads!" Zim sniffed.

Dib opened his mouth to reply but he was cut off by Starfire flying into the room. She was ginning and clutching a plastic shopping bag in her hands. "Hello, friends!" she said happily. "I have returned from the large building of shopping!"

"Hey Star," Robin greeted her as she gently landed on the floor. "What did you go there in such a hurry for?"

Starfire smiled and held the bag out to Zim who looked from it to her several times before finally asking, "What?"

"New clothes," she said with a smile. "I figured, since you do not seem to be very fond of anything that reminds you of your Empire that you may want to wear something that is not your military uniform."

Zim blinked several times, looking oddly confused. "But you hate me," he stated, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

Starfire shook her head. "No, you are mistaken, Irken Zim. I hate no one. And seeing as how your uniform is still wet, you could at least get dressed so that you are not just wearing a towel."

Zim cocked his head and looked at the bag, then at the smiling alien. "Why?"

"Because, I like to shop," the bubble girl replied. "And because it seemed like the right thing to do. Unless you do wish to put back on your military clothing."

Zim looked to the side apprehensively as if the idea of wearing his uniform was an uncomfortable one. "Well…" he said slowly. "It couldn't hurt, I guess. Until my other clothes are dry."

Starfire grinned and clapped her hands happily as Zim took the bag and retreated into the hallway in search of the bathroom.

"Wow… I'm surprised," Dib said slowly.

"You read that rather well, Star," Robin said while grinning.

"Read what?" Beast Boy asked as he continued to move his controller around in a vain attempt to pass Cyborg in the racing game they were playing.

"The uniform thing," Dib replied for Robin. "She's right, Zim doesn't want to be reminded of the military."

"I figured his sense of betrayal is a bit deeper then he is letting on," Starfire said softly. "It is not an easy thing, to be betrayed by something you believe in."

Dib nodded. "Yeah, I see that now."

"See what, stink face?" Zim's irritated voice said from behind them.

Dib turned around and blinked several times at the smaller Irken in his somewhat normal clothing. Starfire cheered and clapped her hands. "Yay, it fits!" she said happily.

Zim was dressed in dark gray cargo pants with red bands that separated the pant leg into three sections. There were interior pockets near the hips as well as large exterior pockets by the knees. He had on a red sleeveless open vest with black stripes over a black long sleeved shirt with a red insignia on the front. The shirt's edges were also in red. To finish it off, Zim had on fingerless gloves that he could only wonder where Starfire had gotten them since they only had three finger holes.

The shirt was a little long and went way below the vest, although in some ways it made the outfit look a little better. And his pack was covered by a black hood that was attached to the vest, offering it at the very least, a little protection from whatever Gir have may attempted to do next.

He was also barefoot, and for the first time Dib could see Zim's feet. Which were green, like the rest of his body, and only had two, rather large toes. The pants pooled around his feet, covering his ankles and making the pants a little long on the small alien. In all, 'it fits' may not have been the best description to give the ensemble. However, no one was going to complain, especially not Zim who didn't even know what 'fitting' actually meant, considering he had worn the Irken soldier uniform for most of his life.

"Looks… good," Dib said finally. "Is it comfortable?"

"Actually," Zim said slowly. "Yeah, it is. It's a lot looser then my Irken uniform."

Starfire nodded happily. "Indeed. The wearing of comfortable clothes is one of my favorite past times on the planet Earth. As well as the doing up of my hair."

"Then why have you only worn that since I've seen you?" Zim asked, motioning to her purple outfit.

"This is my battle wear," Starfire told him. "When I am fighting and helping others, I need to be able to move freely and get around. I have other clothes that I put on when I am doing other things, sometimes," she explained. "But mostly I wear my battle outfit."

"Master!" Gir yelled happily and flew into Zim, forcing the alien to stagger a bit in order to catch his balance. "Are you mad at me?" he asked in a small voice.

Zim sighed exasperatedly. "No Gir, I am not mad. But you aren't allowed near the human kitchen anymore. You do bad things when you are there. Bad. Understand?"

Gir nodded. "Uh huh."

"Good, now, go play with Minimoose or something. I am going to resume my programming," Zim ordered, pointing over to where the purple moose was floating and squeaking adorably.

"Yay! I go play with MOOSE!" Gir yelled and pounced on Minimoose and began to roll around with him on the floor.

Zim pulled out his handheld and walked over to the couch. "And don't activate anything!" he yelled at the two roughhousing robots.

"Activate…" Robin said slowly.

Zim shook his head. "Zim's secrets," he told Robin. "You'll learn soon enough, bird-human."

Robin shrugged and went over to stand next to Dib who was watching Beast Boy just barely defeat Cyborg in the racing game. "Oh yeah!" Beast Boy cheered. "Who da man?"

* * *

Okies! Here's the next chapter. Zim got a new outfit and all that good stuff. I felt the need to put him in something other then his uniform XD Anyways! For those of you who seem to be afraid of reviewing, don't be. I love getting reviews and critique on my stories. They tell me who is reading, and how it's being taken in. So, don't be afraid to give me your opinion! 

Tak will be showing up shortly, I'm not sure about Gaz. So, here you guys go! I'll see you next chapter. Hugs to you all.


	8. Chapter 8

Later that night, Raven bid the alien a silent goodnight. Zim barely acknowledged it as he continued to type away on his handheld. She sighed softly and went upstairs, the last of the Titans to go to bed. 

She walked into her room with every intention of meditating. She was tired but she could feel her power push against her being. Her feelings were conflicted and in turmoil, and anyone who knew he well could tell that when she was conflicted, bad things would happen.

It's not that she was upset, far from it. When she was upset, she just left the building for fear of hurting her friends. Rather, she was confused. She didn't like it when she came across people she couldn't read right away. At first she didn't trust Robin too much because of his enigmatic personality, likewise she didn't fully trust Dib because he had some of the same qualities. However, with enough watching and patience, she knew she would figure out Dib and since she knew Robin she no longer had anything to fear.

And then there was Zim.

Raven had the feeling that she could watch the short Irken defect for years and not even begin to scratch the surface of what he was really like. He was quite upfront about his personality. He was brash, rude, conceited and overall not a nice person. It was obvious that he only cared about himself and his ideals. That's who he was, that was his personality.

But then, conversely, she knew that Zim wasn't supposed to have a personality. Starfire and Dib had hinted as much and it wasn't like it took a genius to figure it out after Zim's memories and personality had been sealed. So, here was this little jackass alien, with maybe two redeeming qualities, whom they were depending upon to help them save the world.

Raven had problems with trust. She rarely made friends and after she found her place with the Titans she did her very best to make sure that she kept them safe. Only after years and years of being alone did she even begin to think she could have friends. And now she was being asked to put her faith into an alien who would kill them all in any other situation.

She didn't like it.

What's worse is that she couldn't read Zim. She knew she couldn't. He was a moron and yet amazingly smart, he hated everything but cared for two of the most annoying things she had ever had the displeasure of meeting and he wanted to destroy the earth and yet he was trying to save it. What screwed up life would create a person so full of contradiction? It frustrated her and she didn't like the fact that despite her efforts everything she thought she knew about him was somehow disproved not long after she formed an opinion.

She was worried. She was worried for her friends, she was worried for her planet and worst of all, despite everything telling her otherwise, she was worried for Zim. Zim was a threat, there was no doubt about it but… he was up against amazing odds. He had every galaxy that was not in alliance with Irk hating him, he had Irk hating him and he had all of those people wanting to destroy him for either his race or his lack of acting like he should. Two reasons no one should ever be destroyed. She should know.

Raven sighed and shut her eyes, floating in midair. Her thoughts wandered to her own life. Being alone. Being hated for what she was and being hated for what she decided to be. No place to fit in and hating everyone for it. She saw a little bit of her situation in Zim's. Even if the alien was one of the most obnoxious morons she had ever met, there was no doubt that he was unique and he lived by his own rules.

She doubted she would ever like Zim. He was too loud, too abrasive and too evil for her liking. Zim was bad; there was no ifs ands or buts about it. He even said he was a bad guy. Still, it's not like he was too much of a threat to them at the moment and apparently the Dib kid had kept tabs on the moronic alien for over four years.

She would learn to tolerate him and she would probably come to like Dib to an extent. Dib was annoying in his own way, but no worse then Beast Boy and it wasn't like she hated him.

Anymore.

* * *

The next morning, Robin woke up bright and early. He was always and early riser. Up with the sun, if there's light then there's work to do. Or so he was taught. He would always start with stretches in the morning. He liked to loosen up his muscles before the day began, just to wake himself up and make sure he was on his toes. 

After that he would do light gymnastics and staff training. He did this every day, with no exceptions. He had no powers. Nothing to fall back on if he was in a sticky situation. Raven could teleport, Beast Boy could become a tiny animal, Cyborg could muscle his way through or use one of his non-human parts to block an attack and keep from being too horribly injured and Starfire was ridiculously strong. He was human. Plain and simple. He had no super secret attack to use, he had his wits, his brains and his agility. So, he trained his mind and his body constantly, day after day so as to always stay that one step ahead. If his weapons were taken away then he needed to use his body. If he was immobilized then he used his brain. Such was his philosophy.

He finished his exercises on that note and walked out of his room, softly. He knew at least four people out of the seven were still asleep. Beast Boy and Cyborg slept in as late as possible when they could. Starfire slept in until ten. And he guessed that Dib wasn't much of a morning person after witnessing the 'coffee scene' between Dib and Zim the previous morning.

Raven was probably in her room meditating, as she always did. It used to awe Robin that Raven could meditate constantly for hours on end. He knew that meditation, especially for that long, required concentration levels that were beyond his own abilities. However, now that he knew why she meditated, it made more sense. It wasn't as if she had a choice in the matter.

Robin walked out into the main room and saw Zim, sitting exactly where he had left the alien the night before, typing away and every so often glancing down at his sleeping robots that rested on either side of his person. Robin grinned and leaned over the couch. "Morning," he greeted the alien.

Zim jumped and leaned back until Robin came into his view. Zim was looking at Robin upside-down and Robin was highly amused. "Hello, bird-human," Zim greeted him sourly. "Is it your morning time already?"

"Couldn't sleep?" Robin asked.

"Don't sleep," Zim corrected him.

Robin raised an eyebrow and Zim sighed exasperatedly as if explaining something to a four year old. "See, unlike you PATHETIC humans, as a superior Irken, I have no need of the weak activity you call 'sleep'" Zim said distastefully as he brought up his hands to make air quotes when he said 'sleep.' "My Pak has a power cell that erases my body's need for sleep or any other energy producing activity."

Robin thought about this as Zim glared at him, still upside down. "So you don't need to eat either?" Robin asked.

Zim shook his head, his antennae flopping. Robin noted this and wondered if it meant anything. He had never seen Zim's antennae flop before. He knew when they moved that whatever position they were in was a pretty good indicator of his mood, but in so far as careless movement, he wasn't so sure. "No food, no sleep, no feeling, no personality," Zim grinned sadistically. "The perfect soldier."

Robin was a little creeped out, but he didn't show it. "Do you eat and sleep?" he asked.

"Duh," Zim replied as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. "Irkens love to snack," he said gleefully. "But we don't have to, and that's the point. I don't sleep that much though. I see it as an amazing waste of time and I have no need for such stupid… things."

Robin nodded slowly as if he was absorbing this. "Okay," he said. "Well, as an inferior human, I'm going to go eat my breakfast."

Zim nodded, not realizing that what Robin had said was clearly sarcasm. "Very well, HUMAN, I will continue making my… weapon thing."

"You do that," Robin said under his breath and rooted through the fridge. He wasn't in the mood to banter with Zim just yet. It took a special mood to feel like going one on one with someone whose ego was so big that they thought they were actually perfect in all senses of the term.

* * *

Later that morning, Cyborg was the first to come out of his room, looking well rested and happy. He was followed by a sleepy looking Beast Boy ten minutes later and then a somewhat awake Dib about 2 minutes after that. Starfire had been up for about an hour but she had disappeared off to the mall with Raven to 'take practice in the art of doing up hair.' 

Although Dib was the last one out, he was the first one to grab a cub of coffee. He sipped on it and looked around. "Zim still working on that thing?" he asked.

"Yeup," Robin replied.

"He outside?" Dib asked.

Robin nodded. "Yeah. He doesn't like to be inside, does he?"

"Correction," Dib replied and sipped his coffee. "He doesn't like to be where he's told to be. Zim does not like doing what he's told to do unless it concerns his leaders. And even now, I don't think that's true anymore. He's pissed off so he's going to contradict everything he possibly can to feel in control." Dib sipped his coffee again and looked down into the liquid, swirling his reflection around in the cup. "Not that I blame him."

Robin nodded, "That makes sense."

"Dude, you guys are thinking too hard this early," Beast Boy said grumpily.

"BB, it's 10:46," Cyborg said with a laugh. "Wake up already."

Beast Boy yawned and flopped on the table. "I'm bored," he complained. "We're waiting for some giant space armada to kill us and all we can do it sit around and wait."

Robin patted Beast Boy on the shoulder apologetically. "It's all right, Beast Boy. We'll be doing things soon enough."

"But what about now?" the bouncy teen asked. He wanted to do something, but the tower needed to be watched in case any transmissions came in from Jenjiba.

Cyborg looked thoughtful as he chewed on his morning bacon. "Hmmm… well," he said slowly. "We could have a four way Battle Showdown tournament."

Dib looked at Cyborg blankly. "What?"

"Battle Showdown?" Cyborg asked. "Only the coolest videogame ever. You create these characters and then have them fight on different terrains. There are the basics, ice, fire, water, what have you but then there's also mech, forest, space AND THEN if you're real good you can mix em up. It's so cool," Cyborg said happily.

Dib laughed nervously. "I'm not much for the videogames," he admitted. "My sister is though. She's really good at them."

"Give it a shot," Cyborg chided. "Come on, four way lets you mix up to four fields and the girls never want to play."

"Oh yeah!" Beast Boy said excitedly. "Yeah! Let's do that! Come on, Dib. I wanna see what happens when you mix space and water."

"The water contracts into spherical shapes that float until they are separated by an outside force," Dib and Robin answered automatically.

Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged looks. "Come on Sci-boys, time to melt your brains with video games," Cyborg told them.

"You're half robot," Dib laughed. "You're probably better and engineering then I am."

"Ah, but I know how to game," Cyborg replied. "So, what do you say? Or are you chicken."

Dib grinned and finished off his cup of coffee. "Chicken? I've piloted a planet before," he bragged. "I'll show you how chicken I am when I kick your butt."

"Big words little man!" Cyborg retorted good naturedly.

"Bring it," Dib shot back and followed Cyborg into the living room, followed closely by Beast Boy and Robin.

"I'm going to kick both of your butts!" Beast Boy announced as he picked up his controller.

Ten minutes later, Robin was grinning the smug grin of victory.

* * *

Later that night, everyone was doing pretty much nothing but lazing about. Except Starfire. She was at the kitchen, banging around and creating some new monstrosity from her planet. 

The odor of the food was enough to make one gag. Dib started to look a little green while Beast Boy laughed at his misfortune. "We're used to it," he whispered. "Just get ready to bolt if she comes near you with it."

"Have you ever eaten it?" Dib asked while trying not to look too ill.

"Once," Beast Boy replied. "And I will never again try anything she makes. Ever."

"Yeah, Star has a real… unique sense of flavor," Cyborg said knowingly. "Way more unique then I ever want to try."

Dib laughed and sunk a little lower into the couch. "Oh boy," he muttered.

Starfire came out of the kitchen, holding up a lumpy grey mass of bubbling… something, looking quite proud. "Who wishes to partake of the dish of the Retaklant Feast?" she asked happily.

"I uhhh… I'm full," Cyborg lied. "Mmm, that pizza was filling!" he said while patting his stomach.

"Me… uhh too! Yum tofu!" Beast Boy added quickly.

"I'm fine, thanks," Dib managed to get out.

Robin had already safely disappeared to a different part of the building.

Raven merely glared at Starfire before closing her eyes and returning to her meditation.

Starfire looked a little put out but then remembered that there was a new person to try her recipes on. "All right, I'll go ask Irken Zim if he wishes to partake," she said a little stiffly and floated upstairs.

"Poor Zim," Dib laughed. "He's allergic to human food, I wonder how he'll take that."

* * *

Starfire floated out onto the top of the building where Zim was sitting, looking out over the city. His feet were dangling over the edge and he looked almost thoughtful. Starfire cleared her throat and Zim jumped, revealing that he had only been spacing out. "Hm? What is it?" he asked rudely. 

"I have made a feast food," Starfire said cheerfully. "Do you with to partake of it?"

Zim turned slowly to see the mush in her hands. He raised an antennae and gave her and odd look. "Alien food?" he asked.

"From my planet," she said softly. "I like to make things that remind me of my home. I miss it sometimes, you know."

Zim frowned and Starfire half expected a sarcastic reply. She was totally caught off guard with what Zim said next. "Well, at least you can return home," he said, almost bitterly.

Starfire had no idea what to say to that, so she merely floated over and set the dish next to Zim, then sat down next to the dish. "I can," she admitted. "But I rarely get the chance. Tamerania is very far away."

Zim shrugged. "I have no home to speak of now," he said stiffly. "Irk is being STUPID," he hissed. "And this planet is STUPID."

'This planet is wonderful," Starfire argued.

"No it's not," Zim said exasperatedly. "This planet has a bunch of morons on it. No one notices ANYTHING and everyone seems to just follow some invisible rule set that makes NO SENSE."

"You see things very differently, Irken Zim," Starfire told him.

Zim sighed and took a spoon of the mess that Starfire had made. He took a tentative bite and found that it did not hurt him in any way and that it actually was pretty good. He missed eating and he figured it would be okay to continue eating it. "I see things as they ARE, Tameranian. Your silly little club only protects weak and idiotic humans who could care less about anything. Which is exactly why I will take over this planet."

"Why?" Starfire asked, confused.

Zim took another bite. "Because, it's in my programming first of all. And secondly, I WANT to. I like destroying things," he said and grinned. "It's fun."

Starfire shook her head. "You make little sense."

"You make little…er sense," Zim shot back.

He and Starfire traded glares for a second before turning back to watch the city.

"At least the scenery of the planet is not bad," Starfire prompted as she looked at the sunset over the ocean.

Zim snorted. "I hate water," he muttered. He took another bite and sighed then stood up, signifying the end of the conversation. "I am going back down now, Tameranian," he announced and left.

"I like the sunset," Gir said suddenly, popping up next to Starfire. "It's puuurrrrddyyyy."

Starfire smiled and drew her knees to her chin. "Yes," she agreed. "Yes it is."

* * *

Mmkay, I got a review that said I didn't have enough focus on the Titans, so here was an intospective chapter almost completely dedicated to their views on the situation. Also, there was Dib getting his poor non-gaming butt handed to him. 

Thank you soooooo much to everyone who reviewed. I love getting the reviews that tell me things. Really. Bad things good things, I like knowing it all. Sorry if this chapter seemed a little bland, I'm real tired right now and I kinda am running out of steam. Anyways, thanks to all my awesome reviewers, please keep the comments coming!

Hugs to everyone and next chapter is Tak's entrance. Yay!


	9. Chapter 9

"We haven't heard from Zim in almost a week now," Tallest Red said into the transmission com link. "We're not sure what happened, but we need to find out."

"Yes, of course my Tallest," a short, fat Irken said stiffly, saluting the Tallest. "I will find him as soon as I can."

"Very well, Skooge," Tallest Red replied with a snide grin. "We expect a report in three days."

Skooge nodded and watched the screen go blank. After the transmission died away, the Irken bit his lower lip and sunk into the chair of his spaceship. "Oh man," he said softly.

"Master, shall I set coordinates for the planet Earth?" his SIR unit asked him in a gruff voice.

"Hm?" Skooge asked. "Yeah, yeah, do that," he commanded and rubbed his forehead. After being told that Zim's memories had been sealed and his personality suppressed, he wasn't sure he wanted to face his smeet-mate. He would never say it out loud, but he always thought of Zim as something of a friend, or at least a companion of sorts. Such opinions voiced out loud would get him labeled defective faster then you could say 'emotion' but he was fairly good at hiding that sort of thing.

Too bad Zim wasn't as good at it as he was.

* * *

Skooge reached the outer reaches of the solar system and sighed. He knew he was walking right towards his own doom, and yet he knew he had too. He was as just a slave to his programming as any other Irken. He knew it, and he resented it a little, but he cared more about finding out what had happened to Zim.

As he passed the outer reaches of the asteroid belt, he heard a loud thunk on the hull of his space ship. His SIR unit's eyes glowed a bright red as the ship's systems spelled out warnings.

"Report!" Skooge barked as he straightened up.

"Sir! It appears something has hit our ship and is trying to gain access into the computer systems!" the SIR unit yelled.

Skooge was just about to eject the hood and try to get at what was on his ship when a female Irken stuck her face in front of his windshield and narrowed dark purple eyes at him. "Hello, you sorry excuse for a soldier," she said in an odd accent. "You're going to take me where I need to go, or I will blow up your ship. Understand?"

Skooge could only nod numbly as the woman forced her way inside the tiny ship and crammed herself next to Skooge. "Good," she said smoothly. "Now, take me to the pathetic backwater planet called Earth. I have a grudge to settle."

Skooge finally found his voice. "Earth?" he gasped. "You want to go to Earth?"

"And I wish to make a call to my Tall…" the woman stopped short and glared at Skooge. "Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'm going there too!" Skooge declared brightly. "I'm on a mission for my Tallest. I'm supposed to call them in three days."

The woman raised an 'eyebrow' at the odd Irken, unsure of how to deal with him. "Well then," she said slowly. "I'll wait. Just take me to the planet, now!"

Skooge nodded and the ship lurched forward. "I'm going there to check up on the Invader for the planet."

"Who?" the woman snapped.

"Invader Zim," Skooge said, almost fearfully. "He hasn't called in."

"WHAT?" the woman roared. "That filthy little traitor! My Tallest are checking up on him!"

Skooge stared at the woman, open mouthed. "Um… you know him?" he asked finally.

"I dream of the day that I will be able to tear him apart," the woman hissed in a dangerously soft voice. "Why does he have Invader status?"

Skooge's antennae fell a little as the pretty blue planet came into view. "Um… My Tallest… in all their wisdom…" Skooge frowned. "They took away his memories and personality so he would be a perfect soldier for them," he said softly.

The female Irken turned her purple eyes onto Skooge and sucked in a quick breath. "Are you sure?" she hissed.

"Positive," Skooge replied.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two for a few minutes as Skooge's ship entered the atmosphere. Finally Skooge decided to introduce himself in order to kill the tension. "By the way, I'm Skooge. Invader Skooge, conqueror of Blorch."

The woman glanced at Skooge in surprise and shook her head. "I have no title to speak of. My only mission is that of revenge against Zim." She paused and glanced at Skooge again. "You can call me Tak."

* * *

"Robin!" Cyborg yelled loudly. "Dude, come here! There's an alien craft entering Earth's atmosphere."

"What?" Robin gasped and ran over to where Cyborg was standing. "What is its origin?"

"No idea man," Cyborg said quietly as he typed away on the master computer. "All I can tell is that it's small, so probably not an invasion. But whatever it is, it's not hailing anyone, so it can't be here for recreational reasons."

Robin glared at the craft image and then pressed the alarm button that told the rest of the Titans that there was trouble.

After everyone had assembled, Robin paced back and forth in front of them. "It's a threat," he said finally. "And I don't think we should be underestimating anyone at this time."

"We someone here to make sure Jenjiba doesn't come after us when we're away," Raven reminded them.

"I know," Robin hissed. "I know. But we can't risk it. If we don't have that extra force then we may not win."

Cyborg uncrossed his arms and grinned. "I know," he said. "Let's ask Dib to watch over the transmissions. Kid knows my tech already. I mean, he can obviously defend himself and he knows how to monitor things."

"I don't know…" Raven said quietly. "We don't know him that well. I mean, what if he's working with Zim or something. They almost seem like friends sometimes."

Robin shook his head. "No, I don't think so. I think they're enemies, but in more of a sibling rivalry kind of way. If Cyborg is comfortable with handing his system over to someone else, then I'll okay it."

Cyborg's lips twisted. Clearly he was not happy with the idea of giving up his precious technology, but desperate times called for desperate measures. They were needed and he knew that he had to help. "I'll do it," he said finally.

"Do what?" Dib asked as he walked into the room, amid the flashing lights. "Is there a fire or something?"

Robin pushed a small button on the monitor and the alarm system died down. "Dib, we just received transmissions of an alien craft entering the atmosphere. We need to go as a team in case this is serious. Could you monitor the tower to make sure that no one invades our base after we leave?"

Dib opened his mouth and then closed it in disbelief. "You're serious?" he asked.

"Scratch it and you die," Cyborg said jokingly. "But we need an answer now, because I'm sure they've already landed."

Dib nodded. "I'll do my best," he said. "But if you need any help, tell me. I'm pretty good at figuring out ship weaknesses."

"Practice?" Beast Boy asked.

"You have no idea," Dib muttered.

"We will," Robin promised him. "And thanks."

"No problem!" Dib said and waved as the Titans left the building. He sighed and crossed his arms huffily. "Damn, they get to do the fun stuff. Why on earth did I agree to this? And why am I talking to myself?"

* * *

Zim was in his own ship; monitoring what little transmission he could receive. When he saw a picture of the ship that was entering the atmosphere he stopped cold. The shape and structure was unmistakenably Irken. Zim hissed and glared at the transmission. "They DARE check up on the mighty ZIM?" he asked, almost offended. "What? Do my Tallest not TRUST me?"

"No they don't!" Gir said cheerfully.

"Shut up Gir," Zim snarled and started up his Voot. "Come on, we're going out there."

"But Master, why go to the bad people who hurt you?" Gir asked. "They will make things all bad again."

"Zim runs from NO ONE!" Zim declared. "And I mean it."

Zim flew his ship to where the signal cut off. His ship was faster then the Titans' and he managed to get there quite some time before they did. As he landed he saw the ship of another Irken sitting in the field. He grinned and landed, readying himself for combat. "Stay in the ship, Gir," Zim said and jumped out.

"Oh my gosh, Zim!" a happy voice said. "Hi!"

Zim looked up at the ship and saw Skooge waving frantically from the cockpit. Zim narrowed an eye and shook his head. "Skooge? What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you haven't died!" Skooge said cheerfully as he jumped out of the ship. He landed and walked over to Zim. "Hmm… you don't seem… different," he said finally.

"What?" Zim asked.

Skooge frowned. "Zim, what happened 10 Irk years ago, when we went to the surface?"

"I knocked out the power for several years and you were my accomplice. I refuse to take all blame for that!" Zim declared.

Skooge clapped his hands joyfully and grinned. "You, you are normal! I thought your memories and feelings were sealed!"

Zim frowned, then realized his mistake. "Oh…"

"I'm glad," Skooge said quickly. "Really, Zim."

Zim cocked his head, unsure what to make of that. He didn't have long to ponder Skooge's words however. He was too busy wondering what was being shoved into his back.

Tak held her laser gun in the small of Zim's back, the end live and crackling with energy. "Well, that makes my job a lot easier, filth," she spat. "You know why I hate you, so now you can die without wondering why."

* * *

Blah, I'm sorry for the short chapter... I'm sooooo tired though and this is what I could get out. Better then nothing huh? 

Thanks for all the reviews, I loves ya guys and now I'm going to go crash.


	10. Chapter 10

To his credit, for once in his life, Zim did not overreact. "Tak," he hissed. "What are you doing back here?" 

Tak smiled a sweet grin that had no place on her face. "I'm here to destroy you," she snapped, shoving her gun further into Zim's back.

"Wait!" Skooge squeaked. "W-what are you doing?"

"Stay out of this!" Both Zim and Tak yelled at the poor Irken.

Skooge backed up and watched the small drama unfold before him with wide eyes. His hands shook and he felt his mouth go dry but he dared not take a step forward for fear of his own life.

Tak took in a deep breath but did not talk. She did not waste words on stupid people. She merely began to squeeze the trigger slowly, savoring the moment that she had.

Suddenly, the Titan's jet came out of nowhere and began to land nearby. Tak glanced over for a split second, but that was all Zim needed. Fool he may be, but he was still a soldier and his Pak still knew how to react in a life and death situation.

As soon as Tak glanced, Zim ducked low and shoved his body weight backwards into Tak's left side where she wasn't holding the gun. She glanced down in surprise at being caught off guard and cursed herself loudly as Zim grabbed her right wrist and held it high above his head. "Gonna shoot?" he asked, grinning.

"You!" Tak squealed, turning a dark green and deploying her spider legs from her Pak. She pushed them against the ground and shot herself up, like a rocket, wrenching herself from Zim's grip and flying over his head. While she was in the air, she took careful aim and began to fire down on Zim.

Zim was quick enough to deploy his own spider legs and create a force field around himself. The shots from Tak's gun bounced off the shield and ricocheted into the surrounding area, forcing Gir and Skooge to duck in cover.

Tak landed neatly on the other side of Zim and propelled herself into the nearest tree, turned around and began to shoot at Zim again from her vantage point. In retaliation Zim propelled himself into the tree next to hers with his force field still up.

For a second Tak paused in order to get a better grip on the tree with her spider legs and Zim took the opening. He pulled out his own gun from its holder and went on the offensive, shooting at Tak through his force field.

Meanwhile, the Titans were getting out of their jet and running towards the grove in order to see what was wrong. They saw a taller, purple Irken and Zim shooting at each other with what looked like laser guns and a small, short Irken with large red eyes looking at the battle with his hands covering his mouth.

Starfire flew over to comfort the Irken, feeling a tiny bit of compassion for the creature that displayed his emotions so freely. "Are you all right?" she asked him.

He whirled around and stared at Starfire, took a few deep breaths then nodded. Finally he pointed at the battle and squeaked out, "Tak's trying to kill Zim!"

"Who is trying to do what now?" Beast Boy asked as he cocked his head to one side.

The short Irken gave them an odd glance, as if he was about to ask a question, then apparently decided against it. Instead he turned and pointed to the purple Irken who was still trying to blow Zim's head off with her laser gun. "Tak," he said slowly. "Is trying to kill Zim," he said while swinging his hand over to point to Zim who was trying just as hard to kill Tak.

"Well that is messed up," Beast Boy said slowly while watching the battle in the corner of his eye.

Robin turned to face the round Irken head on. "Why?" he asked him.

He shrugged and shook his head, glancing up at the battle, frowning. "I don't know," he said quietly. "I was just sent here to check up on Zim. I never thought it would turn out like this."

There was a long pause as everyone listened to the sound of gunfire over their heads. Finally Raven asked, "Who are you?"

The small Irken gave them a wan grin and pointed to himself. "My name is Skooge. Invader Skooge, I'm the conqueror of Blorch and…" Skooge smiled sheepishly, "I'm Zim's smeet mate. I was born right after he was and have been in all classes with him since."

"A friend?" Starfire asked.

"If Irkens can have them," Skooge muttered as he turned to face the battle. "Maybe."

The Titans fell silent and then exchanged glances, everyone asking the same silent question. Should they interfere or not?

Tak swore loudly as her weapon ran out of energy and stopped firing. She heard Zim laughing like a maniac and quickly jumped out of the way as he jumped over to her tree. Zim stood on the branch above her, grinning and pointing his gun down at her, ready to blow her force field to bits if need be. Tak shrank away from the weapon as Zim pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

Zim's eyes grew large and he began to pull the trigger again and again, each attempted firing growing more and more frantic. He hissed something in Irken that only Tak caught and jumped out of the way as Tak swiped at him with a spider leg.

"You low rate solider!" she snarled. "You have no right to call yourself an Irken elite!"

Zim snorted and threw his gun down. He pushed himself to where she was perched and blocked her attack with his own spider leg. "I don't," he said in a low, angry voice.

Tak laughed a high pitched laugh that sent shivers down everyone's spines. Then she stepped forward and sent all four of the leg attachments at Zim's head, forcing Zim to roll over in order to dodge. Zim fell off the branch and landed none too gracefully on the branch below as Tak stood over him, grinning her sadistic smile. "Oh please," she said. "You've been given Invader status again. My Tallest don't just hand that out like candy. Trust me, I know. You wouldn't have that title if you didn't care, so don't play the pity game with me!" she roared as she jumped onto the branch below, trying to pin Zim under the leg attachments.

Zim was on his back, looking up at Tak as she gave her little speech. As she jumped down, he quickly used his arms and scuttled out of the way of her attack just as she landed on the branch. He glared at her and stood up, sinking into a battle position. "I didn't do anything!" he shouted. "I thought I was an Invader up until I was summoned to my Tallest and so I would have no reason to even try what you just said. Your story of stupid is dumb and makes no SENSE at ALL. Maybe you should SHUT your idiotic NOISE TUBE and don't SAY things you don't know about!"

Tak rolled her eyes and tried to sweep Zim's feet out from under him. The smaller Irken jumped out of the way and onto a higher, sturdier branch. The two gave up on talking as they sank into the heat of the battle. Tak jumped up and let the top two spider legs glow with the laser attachment. She began to swing them around her head in wide arcs in order to keep Zim from attacking her from above.

Zim jumped out of the way, hissing as one of the lasers grazed his arm and cut through the skin, leaving a long, shallow scratch. Zim covered it with his hand, but dark green blood could still be seen oozing between his fingertips. Zim winced but held out his own spider legs in the force field position as Tak came at him.

Tak jumped at him with her legs held out like spears. Zim dodged several thrusts but caught another blow on his shoulder. He gasped as me took a misstep and fell down several boughs, landing a good 15 feet below Tak, stomach first on a small branch. He coughed and gasped for breath as he scrambled onto the branch, wincing in pain and shaking his head vigorously. Tak snorted and jumped down to Zim's level, landing gracefully on the branch and continuing her attack in the same way. She thrust her lasers at Zim's head and chest, trying to impale him on the ends of the sharpened weapons. Zim quickly dodged as much as he could and finally saw an opening and caught one of the arms in his hand.

Tak growled and tried to pull out of it but Zim was too quick. He pulled her towards him and ran forward, pushing her up and off the branch. Then he jumped upwards so that he was directly over her and began to fire his laser attachments down at her.

Tak swore and brought up her own force field in order to protect her body from the hail of lasers. She winced as the projectiles of energy slammed into the shield, making it weaker and weaker and finally she was forced to let it down and take a few hits in order to get to a better position. She hissed as several of the laser shots hit her arms, legs and torso but she noted with pleasure that the damage wasn't too severe.

She jumped up several feet and fired two warning shots at Zim, trying to get him to overreact to something. He wouldn't and instead turned and began to fire back, trying to get a few more hits in before jumping to another tree entirely.

Tak followed him and did her best to land on a branch above Zim's. When she was above him, she began to fire down at him, and finally succeeded in knocking him off balance. Zim fell sideways and Tak jumped down to where he was in order to get a better shot. Zim grinned and deployed two spider legs and stuck them on the branch next to him. He pulled and gained back some balance, then used his other spider leg that glowed with the laser edge and thrust it at Tak. Tak turned sharply but the leg went clean through her shoulder.

She cried out in pain and glared at Zim with fury in her eyes. Then she used her own leg to stab blindly at Zim. Zim jumped out of the way and tried to make it to a higher branch but not before Tak managed to stab Zim in the leg. The momentum of the jump caused Tak's spider leg to drag through the pierce it made in Zim's leg and caused the Irken obvious pain. Zim scrambled onto the branch and panted, holding his leg and glaring at Tak who was holding her shoulder and grinning wickedly.

Starfire had about as much as she could take and got ready to go help Zim. Robin reached out and grabbed her wrist in order to keep her from taking off. Starfire turned to Robin, her eyes wide and her breath shaky. "Why?" she asked.

"He's fighting, Star," Robin said quietly. "And he's fighting another Irken. Not only is this probably something of an interracial problem we shouldn't get mixed up in, it's also Zim's fight. He wants to battle. Look at him," Robin said, pointing. "He's smiling."

Starfire looked up and saw that the small Irken was indeed smiling. He was enjoying every minute of his fight and even though he was loosing, it appeared that he had no intention of giving in.

She knew that Zim was going to fight to the death.

* * *

Heh, okay now THIS is an action scene. May not be IC but damn if I can't write action. I dunno if it went on for too long but the battle will end next chapter. Enjoy the fighting doom of Tak. I go to bed now, love and cookies to you all! 


	11. Chapter 11

"Come and get me if you can, coward," Tak yelled out in Irken as Zim hastily made a bandage out of his too long shirt to cover the wound on his leg. 

Zim growled and pulled out his gun and took aim, firing at Tak in order to get her to be quiet. Tak laughed and jumped gracefully, landing on a branch behind her.

Zim rushed forward and tried to hit Tak with his fist but she countered by thrusting out her spider legs, creating a shield with the glowing ends. Zim jumped back and looked around for a way to break through the shield without getting hurt by the angry female Irken.

"You're weak," Tak whispered.

Zim's eyes widened and he jumped back, matching her gaze glare for glare. Then he jumped up above Tak and looked down at her from his vantage point. Tak laughed harshly and drew out her own gun pointing it through her shield and shaking her head. Zim didn't take the bait and continued to climb up the branches, going higher and higher as Tak shot blindly at him. "What, are you running away?" she yelled angrily.

Zim reached the top of the tree branches and looked down, seeing Tak's shield far below him. He shot a branch a few feet away from himself, making it snap and watched as several laser shots were aimed at the area where he had just fired his own attack. Then he pocketed his gun and quietly jumped off the branch, pointing all four of his spider legs below him.

Tak continued to fire up at the part of the tree where she had seen and heard movement. Then she saw Zim when he was a full ten feet above her, grinning wickedly with all four of his laser cutters aimed at her. She took a step back and felt herself loosing her balance on the thin branch.

She began to fire wildly at Zim as she fell backwards. Zim came up to her level fast and she dropped the gun she was holding in favor of keeping her shield online. She held out her hands and glared at Zim's large red eyes, feeling a hate as she had never felt in her life.

Zim pushed on the shield with his weapons and took the shots from Tak's gun, refusing to move a bit in order to make sure that his plan would work. As they both fell through the trees Zim kept his laser pointers on the edge of Tak's shield. The metal that made up his weapons hissed and sparked with the prolonged contact but he didn't care. He knew what he was doing was a last ditch effort anyways.

The branches slapped Tak's shield and broke beneath their combined weight. The last branch that they landed on took most of the impact but snapped in half after Tak's shield melted through it. Together, both Irkens fell the remaining ten feet to the ground where Tak's shield finally fell completely off line after Zim's spider legs pushed through the front.

Tak shut her eyes tightly, waiting for Zim's lasers to cut her and end her life but it never came. She opened one bright purple eye and looked up, staring at the heavily panting Irken above her. "You fool," she hissed in Irken. "Finish me off."

"I don't take orders from anyone, anymore," Zim replied, smiling. "I don't have to do what you tell me."

"What?" Tak gasped. "You just fought me in a life and death battle and you refuse to end it because I told you to kill me?"

Zim laughed. It was his normal insane, evil, obnoxious laugh but Tak had no idea why Zim was so happy when they were both in such a sorry state. "Pretty much, Tak."

"And if I hadn't told you to kill me?" she asked.

Zim grinned and brought his face close to hers. She took a look at his bleeding, grinning face and shivered. "Then I probably would have killed you. But since I won't take orders from anyone, I won't."

"You…" Tak struggled to find a word to describe the sheer idiocy of that thought process but her own vocabulary failed her. "Zim…"

Zim felt his Pak spark and shook his head to clear the rush of warning data. "Now I," he paused, his eyes growing a little out of focus. "Pig."

"What?" Tak asked, confused.

Zim's Pak fell offline completely and he collapsed on top of Tak's sore, battle scarred body, unconscious. Tak hissed in pain and struggled to sit up as the Titans and Skooge came running over.

"Is he…" Starfire said in a small voice.

Tak looked down at Zim, infuriated. "HEY! You little obnoxious twit! Don't you dare collapse on me after a battle, I need to yell at you properly. How dare you!"

Skooge breathed a sigh of relief as he felt Zim's Pak and nodded. "He's fine, he just overloaded his Pak's circuits. Probably busted them absorbing the impact from that fall."

"What do you mean absorbed? My Pak absorbed that shock," Tak yelled angrily. "He made sure I was underneath him."

Skooge and the Titans looked at her oddly. Tak frowned and looked down at Zim, "What did this freaking moron do?" she asked.

"He broke through your shield right before impact and thrust his spider legs underneath your body," Skooge told her. "Well, I guess you being okay wasn't his intention but it did save your life. The shock wave caused from your shield going off line created enough force to keep you from breaking anything at least. Zim probably just wanted to break your shield though."

"Didn't even think about the consequences," Tak hissed. "How in the freaking hell did he become an invader?" she asked loudly.

Skooge laughed and shrugged. "I don't know, you know we take the tests alone."

Tak reached up and grabbed the collar of Skooge's invader uniform and pulled him towards her. "Familiarize yourself with the concept of 'rhetorical' twit," she hissed.

Skooge's antennae lowered as he laughed nervously. "Y-yes ma'am," he said quietly.

"What are you doing here?" Raven asked them.

Skooge and Tak looked at the dark human and then back at each other. Tak let go of Skooge's shirt and thrust him away from her. "I came here for revenge. This…" again Tak looked for a word she could use to describe Zim but fell short. "Irken," she spat. "Ruined my life and plans, twice. Actually, I should kill him now but I want answers."

"Answers?" Skooge asked.

"I want to know why he is affiliated with a known superhero force," Tak murmured as she looked up at the Titans. "Unless you're trying to kill him too, but somehow I doubt that because of how worried that Tameranian girl was about him when the battle was over. I also want to know the real reason why he didn't kill me," Tak sniffed as she pushed Zim's body off her own. She stood up and winced at the pain in her shoulder and glared at the short Irken lying on the ground. Sighing she knelt down and picked him up, throwing his weight over her good shoulder and turned to the Titans.

"You know who we are?" Robin asked.

Tak grinned wickedly. "Unlike this moron, I actually research the planets I plan to destroy. I know every power and force on this planet that could keep me from fulfilling my ultimate goal. When I tried before I made sure that you and the Justice League were both off the planet and made sure that my plan would happen fast enough so that no one could help."

"Then why did you fail?" Cyborg asked cheekily.

In a flash Tak had reached into her tunic and pulled out a gun that hadn't been destroyed by the impact caused by the fall. She pointed it at Cyborg and turned it on, letting the hum of its power be heard before she answered the question. "He," she said gesturing at Zim with her antennae, "got very, incredibly lucky."

Cyborg held up his hands and nodded. "Okay, I get it."

Tak turned off her weapon and re-pocketed it. Cyborg looked down at the smaller Irken who was shaking his head and eyeing Tak worriedly. "Touchy?" he asked quietly.

Skooge nodded. "Very."

"I can hear you imbeciles!" Tak yelled. "Now, are there any private medical facilities near by? I want to get my answers so I can end the life of this pathetic excuse for an Irken."

"Uh…" Beast Boy said slowly.

Robin stepped forward. "Yeah, follow us in our ship."

* * *

As they were flying back to Titans' Tower Beast Boy felt the need to speak up. "Um, Robin, why are we taking the crazy lady back to our place?"

"To find out some answers of our own. Obviously she has a personal problem against Zim but why is the other one here? Also, if they came in through the atmosphere without getting caught by the army up there then maybe they know how to get there and how many there are," Robin said quietly.

"Good plan," Cyborg said.

"Thanks," Robin replied. "I just hope everything works out the way it should."

"I second that," Beast Boy said with a huge sigh.

* * *

Robin walked into the living room of Titans' Tower and looked around. Dib was typing away at a the monitor station and muttering something under his breath. As Cyborg came in behind him, he noticed this and quickly walked over. "What's up?" he asked quietly as Dib turned around.

Dib pointed at the monitor and began to say something when Tak and Skooge came in, both looking rather upset. Then Starfire came in carrying Zim followed by Beast Boy and Raven.

Dib leapt to his feet and pointed at Tak. "What is she doing here?"

Tak crossed her arms and grinned. "I am here to take revenge on Zim and then finish what I started. After I find out a few things of course."

Cyborg patted Dib's arm and shook his head as Dib began to babbly incoherently. "B-but…"

"Everything will be explained sooner or later," Cyborg said softly.

Dib glared at Tak and then nodded, never breaking his gaze from hers. Tak grinned back at Dib and waved airily at him as she followed a silent Raven through two sliding door.

Skooge cleared his throat and blushed a dark green as everyone turned to look at him. "Um, I know how to fix Zim's Pak but I need some tools."

Suddenly Gir came running into the room screaming, followed by a panicked Minimoose. "MASTER!" he yelled.

"Where have you been?" Dib asked as everyone looked at the odd robots.

Gir stopped in his tracks and looked up at Dib vacantly. "I was SLEEPIN!" he declared.

* * *

Skooge opened Zim's Pak and began to prod around inside with the somewhat primitive tools he was offered. He sighed but put up with it, determined to get Zim awake and moving. He worked for about two minutes when there was a small spark and Zim's Pak whirred to life.

"Hey, welcome back," Skooge said cheerfully as Zim groaned.

"Shut up," Zim grumbled.

Skooge laughed and set the tool down. "Well, your Pak is fine aside from the overloading. If you cover up your wounds you should be fine in a day."

"I know that! Do not doubt the intelligence of the mighty ZIIIM," Zim told Skooge as he slid off the table he had been lying on.

Skooge grinned and nodded, following Zim as he walked over to sit on the couch. Skooge took out a first aid kit and pulled out some bandages. "Hey," he said quietly as he handed them to Zim.

"Hm?" Zim asked.

"Remember the reason why we went to the surface?" Skooge asked softly.

Zim paused for a moment, then looked down, his antennae drooping a little. "Of course I remember. ZIM never forgets unless it is convenient."

Skooge leaned against the couch and looked wistfully at the ceiling. "Yeah, you said that it was unfair that we had to stay underground for ten years and that you wanted to see the surface of the planet."

"See everything they made us learn about and train for," Zim added and sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"It was pretty cool, wasn't it?" Skooge asked brightly. "Seeing the surface of the planet for the first time? It was so big and pretty…"

Zim snorted, "I do not care if something is pretty or big. I care about knowing what the instructors of Irk were hiding from us."

"The first time you saw the planet," Skooge said, now looking at the floor. "You were speechless for the first time since I had met you."

Zim stopped winding the bandage around his arm for a split second before starting again. "I wasn't speechless fool, I was… taking a very deep breath."

"I'm glad you made me follow you," Skooge said suddenly.

Zim looked at Skooge oddly. "What? Why? I use you! Even you can't deny that. I do whatever I can to reach my goals."

Skooge kicked his feet and took in a deep breath. "Because, I think, you may be the only Irken who actually knows what freedom is like. Because you're not afraid to disobey orders when you want to do something."

Zim shook his head and sighed. "You're an idiot, Skooge."

Dib, Robin and Starfire slowly and quietly walked away from the room, carrying the first aid supplies they had brought. It seems that they weren't needed after all.

* * *

Here's a holiday update for you guys! This chapter was kinda eh but whatever, I got in the exposition and characterization I needed. OOCness abounds but I just felt the impulsive need to give Skooge a damn reason to follow Zim like a puppy. I mean sheesh o.o the guy conquered a planet and yet he still just does whatever Zim says.

Tak is so much fun to write. I love her in all her badass glory. They're all together because they all want to know what the hell is going on but really once you think about it no one does. Heh, kinda funny. Tentative relationships but after the next chapter more reason and exposition will come to light. Also, Zim didn't kill Tak because she told him to. Really. He is that stupid.

Hugs and cookies to all my reviewers and see you next chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

Tak paced the room angrily and snarled at anyone who was stupid enough to get even ten feet within her person. "Where is that filthy insect?" she hissed as she glared at the door that Zim and Skooge had gone through. 

Dib sighed and sat on the couch. "Tak, he overloaded his Pak. You know that could have possibly killed him."

Tak snorted and crossed her arms. "Who are you trying to fool, worm. Zim has more lives then a Slear."

"I have no idea what that is," Dib told her truthfully. "And I don't think it matters much. Be patient, Zim will be fine."

Tak cocked an antennae up as she widened a large amethyst eye in his direction. "You think I'm worried about him, meat bag?" she breathed dangerously.

Beast Boy and Cyborg glanced at Dib who seemed to be keeping his cool despite the fact that Tak looked about ready to launch herself at him and tear his head off. "I never said that," Dib snapped back.

"It sure sounded like…" Tak began as she advanced on the black haired boy but she was cut off by Robin stepping in front of her. "Move, worm."

Robin gave her a stone cold glare and shook his head. "I don't care what possible tensions you two may have. You're here now and so we'll all act like civil people to one another, understand?"

Tak and Dib shared one last hate filled glare before turning their backs on one another with a loud 'hmph' from both ends.

"Civil?" a rough voice said from the end of the hallway. Everyone turned to see Zim with a rather harried looking Skooge behind him. "You filthy worm beasts expect the mighty warriors of the Irken empire to be civil to such inferior beings as yourselves?"

"Zim you're still bleeding," Skooge said quietly.

Zim shook Skooge away from his bleeding arm and shook his head. "I'm fine, leave it alone…"

Gir popped out of nowhere and screamed loudly. "MASTAH! Yous awake! YAY!"

Zim stepped neatly to the side and allowed his hyper robot to fly past him into the darkened hallway. He looked vaguely annoyed and pulled on his antennae irritably. "We're…" he began again but was cut off by Cyborg.

"Superior to all living things and we should be lucky to even breathe the same air," Cyborg finished blandly. "Yeah yeah, we know. Sit down so we can sort all this out before I get a headache."

Zim glared at Cyborg furiously and opened his mouth to reply but Gir suddenly latched onto him from behind and a happy Minimoose settled onto his head. Zim let out a slow breath and walked to the couch dejectedly. "Whatever," he muttered.

Robin nodded and looked around at the odd assortment that had gathered around their table that day. Three supposedly 'evil' Irkens although the use of that adjective was a very objective use. A normal teen who had the brains to get into something like their current situation, although perhaps not to get out, and then his team. Certainly a new way of looking at his own eccentricities. "Okay, we're all here because we all want to know something from the other so why don't we sort out all our stories first and then talk it over."

Skooge nodded and stood up. "Okay, I'll start. I was sent by my Almighty Tallest to find Zim. They had um…" Skooge turned a dark green and Robin could have sworn he saw Skooge's little hand shake before he balled it into a fist. "They concealed the personality files in Zim's Pak and sent him back on his original mission. When he didn't report in I was sent here as a follow up mission. On the way here I met Tak and well… you know the rest."

Tak snorted and glared at Zim. "I was defeated and cast into space by that pathetic excuse for an Invader. I was biding my time until I could return and destroy him. Those are my reasons, humans."

Zim narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything and no one in the room was stupid enough to prompt him to talk. Instead Robin cleared his throat and nodded. "All right then, I'll say what we want. Currently this planet is in danger of being destroyed by a race of conquerors called the Vertians. We want to know how many there are up there."

Skooge blinked and frowned. "There wasn't anyone up there," he said slowly.

Tak smirked and shook her head amusedly. "You poor pitiful fools," she said with a sneer.

"Care to tell us what's so funny?" Dib asked curtly.

Tak's amethyst eyes flicked to Dib briefly and a short flash of respect could be seen. "The Vertians, here? They are a race of war loving morons. Unfortunately they stole technology belonging to the planets they conquered so they're stupid but strong. They're probably in a negative space to keep this putrid planet from detecting their ships."

"What are our chances of defeating them?" Robin asked earnestly.

Tak looked and him and blinked. "You're serious?" she asked. "How many do you have, filthy earth child?"

Robin looked around and then shrugged almost apologetically. "Us," he said simply.

Tak burst out laughing as Zim glared at her distastefully. "Oh, you poor deluded meat bag," she said in an almost gentle voice. "You have no hope of defeating the Vertian armada with your team, powers or not."

"How many are there?" Robin asked again.

"Last recon mission report I read," Tak said slowly, taking the data out of her Pak. "There's about 1000 soldiers to a ship and about 5,000 ships. Do the math," she said with a wicked grin. "This planet won't continue on for much longer."

"NONSENSE!" Zim yelled. "I'M the invader here and I will take down this pathetic excuse for a planet. NOT some filthy Vertian fleet."

Tak glared at him. "What hope can you give?" she snarled. "You're a moron and a defective. You couldn't follow your own programming out of a hole, let alone keep your own in battle."

Zim growled dangerously at first, but then his hate filled glare melted into a particularly disturbing smile. "Ah ah," he said. "Who said anything about battle, TAK?"

Tak blinked then shook her head. "Whatever lunacy you're planning won't be enough."

"SILENCE inferior being," Zim yelled at her. "My lunacy is my own business and it WILL work. Since we've all gotten the information we wanted I'm going to work. Come on Skooge."

Skooge blinked and stood silently as Zim marched towards the back room. When the green alien finally reached the door he turned around and glared at the short, wide Irken. "Come on SKOOGE!" he yelled.

"C-coming," the terrified Irken squeaked and quickly began to scamper after his friend.

Tak crossed her arms and scoffed. "He never did tell me why he didn't finish me off," she muttered. "It's a useless battle, you know," she told them.

Dib shrugged and stood up. "Tak, Zim's destroyed nearly half your planet before. You seriously don't think he can't destroy at least a third of those ships? He levels anything he touches."

Tak blinked, trying to think of a way to refute this logic but nothing came to her. She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Shut up Dib. Your idiot babble gives me a headache."

"Better you then me," Dib snapped back. He turned on his heel and began to walk out of the room.

Tak shrugged and followed him. "I'll help for now, so I can have the chance to destroy that annoying moron again," she told him curtly.

Dib grinned wickedly and nodded. "You and me both."

Tak shook her head in an almost amused way and followed Dib out of the room.

Cyborg rubbed his head and frowned deeply. "What is going on here?"

"We're getting help," Robin told him. "Don't complain."

"I have to agree," Raven said. "If we're going to have any chance to survive this, we need the fire power."

"Then we'll have to deal with the powers of three Irkens," Starfire said quietly.

Beast Boy shook his head. "Better three then whatever thousand many over our heads," he exclaimed while flailing his arms about.

"Beast Boy's right," Robin said. "Let's focus on our current problem, then move on to the rest."

"What are your orders?" Cyborg asked with a grin.

Robin opened his mouth, but before he could continue the screen in the front of the room they were in began to flash red. "Nothing for now," he murmured. "We've got trouble in the city."

"Oohhh," Beast Boy said. "Who is it?"

Robin scanned the report and tapped the screen. "Control Freak. He's attacking a comic convention downtown."

"What about our guests?" Raven asked.

Robin sighed and then shook his head. "Dib can take care of them. We need everyone to take Control Freak down."

Beast Boy cheered. "Finally, some real action!"

Robin nodded and raised his hand. "All right, Titans. Go!"

* * *

Mmkay, all plot is laid and now really all that's left is a final battle. So now we go to some filler! Titans filler to be more exact. I want to write some battle scenes with them for now :3 Plus, I love Control Freak, he's probably one of my favorite villians on the show. 

Hugs and cookies to all my reviewers, see you next time!


	13. Chapter 13

Robin jerked back as something came flying out of the part of the convention center that held the ATM. He did a back flip and landed gently next to whatever it was that was headed in his direction. Starfire floated down towards him and looked at the steaming object. "Um, may I ask what it is?" she asked.

Robin pulled out his staff and glared at the object. "I'm not sure yet, it may be a trap so be careful," he warned and took a few more steps backwards as it hissed.

Suddenly several metal tendrils came out of the object and tried to impale the boy. He glared at it and neatly dodged each attack, parrying a few strikes with his staff and jumping to a safe distance away from the object as Starfire threw her starbolts at the thing.

"What is that thing?" Cyborg asked as a pterodactyl Beast Boy set him down on his feet and resumed his human form.

"That's what I'd like to find out," Robin said darkly as he looked behind the object at the half destroyed convention center.

Raven appeared next to the rest of them in time to hear Control Freak laugh maniacally behind them. They all turned around to see the chubby teen looking rather smug as he held a backpack with some bills falling out of the pockets. "Hello Teen Titans," he sneered. "Sorry, I don't really feel like playing today. I just needed to pick up some cash."

Cyborg leveled his laser canon at Control Freak's head and narrowed his eyes. "Too bad it's not yours," he shot back. "Besides, you don't really have to worry about money in prison."

Control Freak rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly. "Please, I'm a super villain, not a petty thief. This isn't for the sake of stealing."

"Then why are you committing this horrible act?" Starfire asked imploringly. "Surely there is a better way to solve your problems."

"Problems?" Control Freak laughed. "No, you misunderstand me. I stole the money to get something else. Duh."

"So much for not being a petty thief," Raven muttered.

"What'cha do it for?" Beast Boy asked tentatively.

Control Freak clasped his hands together and sighed happily. "The director of the cult classic 'The Night before the Last Dawn' is selling his own private copy of the movie, signed and dedicated to whoever buys it. It was one of the best horror movies ever created and I must have it," he said with a wicked grin.

Beast Boy's eyes widened. "Dude! That's the movie where the zombies get that giant radioactive thing and…"

Control Freak nodded excitedly. "Yes, I know. And the part where Jet punches right through the zombie's head," he sighed wistfully. "Amazing."

Beast Boy's eyes sparkled. "The director is selling a signed copy? I thought that guy like… dropped of the face of the earth. Is he really selling here?" he asked, looking around as if the guy would magically appear.

"Of course he is. This is only the biggest comic-con on the east coast," Control Freak said haughtily. "And I will own the movie."

Cyborg rubbed his forehead. "Okay, BB, stop fanboying with the enemy. We need to kick his tail. He robbed a bank, remember?"

Beast Boy frowned and looked a little upset. "Oh yeah," he sighed. He shrugged and shifted into the form of a tiger and growled dangerously at Control Freak.

Control Freak snorted. "No one is keeping me from getting that movie," he said and held up a small, silver remote. "So, say sayonara Teen Titans," he jeered and pressed a button.

Behind the Titans the mechanical device whirred to life and came out of the crater that it had created when it crashed in front of Robin. It stood on eight legs and was made out of a malleable metal that shifted as it reached full height. It towered about ten feet above Cyborg and had no other features aside from a spherical shaped body.

"Titans, GO," Robin yelled and dived aside just in time to keep himself from getting crushed by one of the thing's tendrils.

Raven flew up into the air and took in a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Azarath, metrion, zinthos," she hissed and immobilized two of the arms. Starfire flew up behind her and threw as many starbolts as she could at the two frozen arms.

Behind them Control Freak laughed and shook his head. "You gotta try harder then that."

When the smoke from their combined attacks cleared, the robot was left standing, as fine as it had ever been and still attacking Robin. Starfire growled and flew down to scoop up Robin and get him away from the legs of the robot.

Beast Boy landed a few feet away from Control Freak and turned into a snake. He slithered over to the boy and hissed loudly, showing off his fangs. Control Freak jumped and dropped the remote he was carrying. Beast Boy quickly wound around it and resumed his human form. He laughed and waved the remote in front of Control Freak. "Looks like I got it, huh?" he asked.

Control Freak smiled. "Octobot doesn't like it when anyone other then me gives it commands."

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "Octobot? What kind of lameo name is octobo…" Beast Boy was cut off as one of the tendrils snaked around his waist and pulled him into the air. "Hey, leggo," he grunted and tried to shape shift. He turned into a gorilla but the robot held on fast because Beast Boy refused to let go of the remote.

"Hey, BB," Cyborg yelled at his struggling friend. "Toss it here." Beast Boy turned his head and saw Cyborg waving his hands. He struggled and resumed his human form, managing to get his arm free for a second before he was caught again. "It's coming your way, Cy," he yelled and threw it as hard as he could at Cyborg.

The robot followed the remote and promptly let go of Beast Boy. Starfire flew down and caught Beast Boy before he hit the ground and set him gently down. "Are you unharmed?" she asked softly while patting Beast Boy's back as he took in deep breaths.

"I'll live," he sighed and turned into a bird and flew off to help Cyborg.

Cyborg pressed a few buttons and then crushed the remote in his hand. Raven landed gently next to Cyborg and frowned. "Are you sure that's okay?" Raven asked.

Cyborg snorted. "Of course I'm sure. I typed in a small virus and then destroyed it's way of getting communication. Programming or not it should collapse right about…" Cyborg looked up and watched as a large electric shock went through the robot. "Now," he finished and watched it collapse.

"Show off," Beast Boy muttered. "I got the remote you know."

Cyborg pulled Beast Boy into a noogie and grinned wickedly. "I know, and I stopped the giant robot."

"That is fine," Starfire said as she landed next to them. "But where is the villain?"

"Over there," Raven pointed.

* * *

As the Titans were occupied with the robot Control Freak decided it would be a good idea to get away from the crime scene. He grinned wickedly and turned around to hightail it out of there when he ran into something. He looked up and saw Robin glaring down at him. "I believe you have something that doesn't belong to you," he said darkly.

Control Freak backed up and pulled out a gadget. "Stand back, I know how to get you, boy wonder."

In one smooth motion, Robin kicked the thing out of Control Freak's hand. Control Freak's eyes widened and he turned around and ran away from Robin in a desperate attempt to get away. Robin pulled out his grappling hook and fired it at Control Freak's feet. He pulled back a little bit and watched as the rope wound neatly around his ankles, making the boy stumble. Then he tugged back towards himself and watched with a small, satisfied grin as Control Freak face planted into the ground.

Control Freak groaned as Robin walked over to him and pulled the knapsack with money out of his hands. The other Titans walked over to see what was going on. Robin grinned as he held up the bag. "Didn't anyone ever tell you crime doesn't pay?" he asked.

Beast Boy groaned quietly and Cyborg hid a laugh behind his hand. "He's gotta have the last line," he said to Beast Boy quietly.

Beast Boy shrugged. "Always with the one liners," he sighed. "They never end."

* * *

Back at the Titan's Tower Tak eyed the television with interest. On the screen a reporter was motion behind her at the now completely wrecked convention center. "And once again you have witnessed the Teen Titans take down another dangerous villain. You have seen it all first on Take 5, action news. We now go back to the studio. Dan?"

Tak turned off the television before the human anchorman could appear to gush over the Titans some more. "Very interesting," she said silently.

"What is?" Dib asked calmly, sipping on a soda and leaning on the back of the couch that Tak was sitting in.

Tak hissed and jumped up, deploying her weapons from her pak and aiming them at Dib's throat. Dib jumped up and backed away from the glowing devices. "Woah, woah, chill Tak. I just asked a question," he said while holding up his hands.

Tak held his gaze for a few more seconds before taking her weapons back into her pak. "Don't sneak up on me, human."

"I wasn't sneaking," Dib snapped back, obviously scandalized.

Tak snorted and then motioned at the TV. "Them," she answered.

"Huh?" Dib asked stupidly.

"The answer to your question, nitwit," Tak hissed. "The kids that you fraternize with. The Teen Titans are interesting. They have obviously worked together for awhile, for they are well trained in team work and their powers are strong. I was merely thinking if there was a possibility to win against the Vertians."

"Well?" Dib asked while taking another slow sip of his soda.

Tak smiled and tugged on her curled antennae. "You're all suicidal," she said finally. "But your confidence isn't unfounded. Even if the rest of this planet is inhabited by morons I'll give you this much, you humans certainly know how to pull miracles out of thin air."

Dib finished off his soda. "You really want to finish off Zim so bad that you'll go along with a bunch of teens on a suicide mission?" he asked.

Tak shrugged. "What else is there for me to do?" she asked. Then she looked Dib straight in the eye. "And yes, Zim's life will be taken by my own hands. You can bet on that."

Dib left the room shaking his head. "I wonder," he said softly.

* * *

Heh, well it's been awhile but then again school and SAT's kinda took their toll. I come back with more fic for ya though! Enjoy the Titans filler as I set up for the uber battle climax. Wheee Hugs and cookies to my reviewers as always. 


End file.
